Jdate ch 16 to the end

 Ch 16 pg 387

We get a "joke" where David falls down and Molly lands on him rear end first.  This is a Good example of how this book is all punchlines and they are not funny.

They are lowered down in a net of sorts. They are greeted by a monster in a man suit wearing a pin striped suit.  He leads them to an area where there's a golden glaming statue of them and Molly,  like they're some kind of heroes in this world.  They go with him to his office.

"The kittens will take your sad away"

He explains that they live in parallel universes.  They split in 1864 when a man named Adam Rooney was shot and died in the Civil War.  I'm their world, he didn't get shot and he invented all sorts of amazing things in what we'll call biotechnology. His greatest achievement was a computer made of pig brains.  He continued to improve on this and on the same day he died his computer gained sentience. This was a big fucking deal.

The pinstripe suit wearing "man" takes them on a trip via a giant spider they can ride in ti the organic computer.  Pinstripe and John keep talking but David is speaking telepathically to the computer.   This is Korrok.

The pinstripe man explains that korrok has seem the future and has the invasion of our world planned out to the last molecule and they should just go along with it.  Dave runs away.  Pinstripe man chases him to I guess the end of the hall and makes the floor transparent and shows him dirty prison people and he brings one of them up and turns them into a monster and when Dave tries to run, the monsters grab him soooo fast.

Pg 405

John had a plan.  Molloy poops out part of the bomb by herself.  John takes it and kinda attaches a little cigarette to it to create a time bomb.  He picks up Molly and when they get to dave and pinstripe man and Amy (who has been infected by one of the white bug things) he squeezes Molly and other bomb parts pop out.  They use the bomb parts to threaten their way out.  They jump into a giant frog with a black hole in its mouth.

Robert North is on the other side.he shoots Amy in the hopes it will prevent the white bugs from hatching.  It doesn't work, so they throw her body back through the black hole to the other world and then she explodes in a shower of white bugs that attack the people on the other side.

Dave stabs Robert North and he turns into a jellyfish and floats away.

They get a ride back home from a guy that (to Dave) looks like Fred durst.  He explains that of this was from John's point of view he would be someone else.  They get home and Amy is there. They make her take her shoes and socks off so they can see she doesn't have the korrok symbol that looks like Pi. Also, the dead body is Dave. He takes his shoes and socks off and he has a pi symbol on his big toe.  So John and Amy take their leave of him.

Epilogue 420

The reporter guy has been dead the whole time.  John doesn't die.  Amy goes to college. They keep living life with a goodly amount of existential dread.

The broken eye ch 1 -33

 Ch 1 pg 1

At the chromeria the white and the two new black guards who lied about Gavin killing that girl see a sea monster try to attack the bridge but then a black whale attacks the sea monster.

Ch 2 pg 7

Being a rowboat slave sucks.  Gavin doesn't like it. 

Ch 3 pg 11

Kip is also rowing a boat.  He's effectively also a rowboat slave like Gavin.  Zymon has h8m blindfolded and he's pointing a gun at him. But kip is gonna kill Zymon.

Ch 4 pg 18

Gavin tells gunner he's really dazen

ch 5

Teia is sad that kip is gone.  The story everyone was told by Kip's grandfather is that in some sort of drunken accident kip stabbed Gavin and they both fell overboard.

Ch 6 pg 32

Kip gets away from zymon

Ch 7 pg 35

Zymon joins a pirate ship whose captain wants to kill gunner

Ch 8

The order of the broken eye is after Teia.  Much like the racists are after Integratio Jefferson.  Teia is instructed to run.  But much like Integratio Jefferson, she'll destroy them, or die trying. 

Ch 9 pg 45

The white summons karris.  She's out of the black guard.  Her uterus starts to frantically travel about her body as all 13 year old boys are aware is totally a real thing that happens. The Teia chapters aren't bad, but pretty much all the female POVs in this book are very bad.

The white wants Karris to manager her spy network. 

Ch 10

teia is surprised when a guy from the briken eye is in her room.  He paralyzed her with pyril.  He makes a compelling argument in that he somehow has her papers and if she plays ball, she'll be a free woman.  If not Andross Guile would be her owner by law.

Ch 11 pg 59

Life as a rowboat slave sucks. Also if the ship sinks during battle, you die.

Ch 12 pg 64

Kip us walking back to the Chromeria in foot. It sucks.  It sucks less after he crafts himself some luxin boots. As night comes he crafts a blue box and red luxin in it to burn to get warm enough to sleep.

Ch 13 pg 71

The old priest

i guess this is an old thijg that happened a long time ago.  They talk about making a person into a green god like its the most normal thing.   also its a thing where each country only uses a single color.  They were recently raided and so they are gonna do the god thing so they can get vengence.

Ch 14 pg 75

Rowboat collides, gavins boat and cannons start tearimg through the boat and tons of people are dying on both boats.  Gavin doesnt die through.

Ch 15 pg 78

K ip is not doing great.  He is trying to walk along the shoreline but he hits rocky cliffs and has to walk through the jungle.  He passes out cause there aint no food and he wakes up covered in leeches.  He solves that problem with luxin and makes clothes out of ultraviolet and yellow luxin.  So he's kinda glowing.  He wanders his way to a farm house.  Luckily, God told this lady he was coming.  Kip has an ok sized penis.

Ch 16 pg 87

These Karris chapters are awful. We don't need to spend several pages discussing her insecurity. 

With some help from the white she's able to get most of Gavin's money from the bank.  They wouldn't have voluntarily given her Gavin's money.  Their expressed policy is that they don't have account names, just numbers and she would have to give the. The account numbers.  But that's BS.  He brought the list of accounts he knew were Gavin's and Karris had someone steal it and a code Cypher from him on the way.  Also they Give the banker some useful information about a competitor.  So now Karris had a friend at the bank.

Ch 17 pg 95

Teia's gotta do one job for the broke Eye and she'll have her freedom. Steal some papers from a spy.  It is a rush job and she hasn't been able to properly prepare and as a result it ain't perfect.  She gets the papers but the spy sees her do it.  The broken eye assasin woth an invisibility cloak has been following her and kills the spy.  He puts the bloody knife he used in her hands and runs away and tells her to run.

Ch 18 pg 104

The attack of the ship worked.   Gunner sends some guys to ransom the ship.  Gunner doesn't know what to do with Gavin.  So he asks Gavin what to do.  The only good advice is to not ransom him to his dad by sending him an eyeball.  His dad won't pay a randsom cause he doesn't want Gavin back and Gavin doesn't have prism eyes anymore.

Ch 19 pg 109

Teia gets away from the scene of the crime and back to the Chromeria. She goes to Kip's room for some reason. Kip is there and he is looking kinda hunky.  Also, he's doing something woth magic the gathering cards.

They go to Gavin's room and Gavin's sex slave is there.  She tells kip to go to the white immediately. Teia finds her papers left by Mr murder for a job well done and she files the paperwork officially and she's free. But the broken eye has TONS of blackmail material on her so she ain't that free.

Ch 20 pg 118

Karris forces herself into the Spectrum meeting as Gavins representative.  Kips grandfather is saying mean things to everyone.  His basic plan is to have everyone do what they can to slow down the color prince's army. Burning the jungle, poisoning the water, etc.   But mostly he wants to name a promaxhos.  

Who is a mystery.  Obiously not Gavin as he thinks Gavin is dead and he claims not himself.  Maybe he thinks he cam get Zymon appointed to that but I don't se how a complete outsider could be appointed. 

In the midst of people bringing up good points and Andross screaming at them, Kip shows up and tells everyone Gavin is alive and he's on Gunner's ship.  He and his Grandfather kinda revise history and blame the whole Gavin overboard thing on grandfather's slave.  It's all a misunderstanding that's been cleared up and we're a happy family again. 

Ch 21 pg 132

Teia tells ironfist about all the stealing she did and how she thinks her old owner is going to blackmail her.

Ch 22 137

Gavin is on the boat.  They are being rewarded for a job well done.  Drinks on the deck.  He's talking to the slave they cal Orlam.  He claims to be a profit.  He knows Gavin is Dazen.  He tells him that orllam chose him to be the Prism.  There's a storm coming.

Ch 23 pg 146

Ironfist take teia to see the white.  Teia eventually tells her everything.  The white asks Teia how brave she is.

Guess: she's going to ask Teia to become a spy for her within the broken eye.

Ch 24 pg 153

Gavin has bad dr3ams about his first freeing as prism.  He drafts black luxin at the nd.

Ch 25 pg 168

Kip is training with the black guards again and it is good.

Ch 26 pg 172

Liv!!!!!!!!!

She's gonna become the ultra violet goddess.  That's the plan anyway.  But first she's gotta go get what we're calling the bane seed and bring it back and then they will put it where they want and the giant mirror of Ru will help them make it grow.

Ch 27 pg 179

A broken eyer comes to Liv and warns her 

not to wear the black luxin the color prince Gave her when she turns into the ultraviolet god.  The Black luxin is intended by the color prince to give him the ability to control Liv.  But the broken eyer warns that if that goes badly, the black luxin might have a mind of its own and consume Liv and then orllam knows what.

Ch 28 pg 182

Kip wants to know what Teia's deal is.  He knows she hiding something from him.

Kip's teacher sucks.  He goes to the white and suggests she be reassigned somewhere more suitable. He also asks for a tutor.  The white suggests Karris.  But it's kinda funny cause she refers to her as MRS Guile. Also, she shows him her magic the gathering card.  She also asks where the cards he got from the lady are and he plays dumb.

Ch 29

Gavin has a bad dr3am about his dead brother.  No, not that dead brother.  The one the died when they were children. 

Ch 30 pg 194

There's a sea battle and I guess they are losing cause one of the guys from the other ship comes over and recognizes Gavin and tries to free him.  He's a red drafter.  But his spectacles are broken and all hope is lost...

...but then Orlam stands up.  He has the manacle key.

Ch 31 pg 201

Remember that girl Gavin threw off the tower?  This is her aunt.  She's having her 13th child.  Turns out her lover is an eye breaker.  He says she can vote for Andross Guile to be the war lord or she can die.  She chooses death.  But he let's her finish having her baby before he kills her.

Ch 32 pg 211

Kips grandfather reveals his rejuvenation to the chromeria and gets himself elected as war monger.  Yeah war.

Also, livs dad appointed a new green who arrived three minutes after the vote.

Ch 33 pg 219

Kip goes to the library and asks for the librarian that helped him with magic the gathering.  She doesn't exists.  I expect she was a plant by card lady to get him to her.  He passes off that librarian asking about the restricted section. That is until he tells him who he is and it's all go right on sir.  There's no locked doors or whatever, it's just books.  But if you're not supposed to be there and you get caught, it's your ass.  Kips totally allowed.  

He pisses off ironfist who just wants to read some books in private. He asks a librarian in the restricted section about forbidden magic the gathering cards and is told there's a special restricted library that information is in.  He gets a permission slip and has ironfist sign it for him.  Kip is gonna pay for thus.  But that's tomorrow Kip's problem, today's kip wants to know about the forbidden cards yo.

Jdate ch 12 through 15

 Ch 12 pg 281

Dave tries to tell John he killed Amy.  Problem is, Amy is there.  She doesn't know where she was.  But shes back.  Also, jellyfish monster is gone. Maybe Amy is jellyfish?

John shows Amy a cool goop thing that can form any shape and gets angry and bites spoons when you say mean things about it.  This is an attempt to earn Amy's trust so she will talk about what's been going on with her.

It works well enough that she's willing to show them the basement.

In the basement is scifi special effects stuff Big Jim was working on.  Its all super cool.  And a lot of it is what theyve been dealing with.  Shadow men and portals to another world.  Maybe Jim has all the answers even though hes dead now.

Pg 292

Dave goes home and falls asleep and wakes up to being paralyzed and Robert North is there.  He eats a spider.

He goes to work.  John's uncle, who is a cop and was with them at Amy's last night cones in a little on edge.  Dave hands him mullhulland falls to rent.

John calls Dave and tells him to drop everything and meet him at Dennys. John's girlfriend is the most beautiful woman Dave has ever seen.  And he's young dumb and full of cum so he's gonna stare at her boobs.

John hands him a news paper with a transcript of an internet chat Amy was in before her abduction. 

Ch 13 pg 306

David goes over to Amy's house. Shafoqmen show up.  They drive away.  Shadowmen attack them on the drive.  They get away, as they're driving he tells her the story of how he ended up in the school for the mentally challenged. Five kids were abusing hum and he stabbed one of em's eyes out.  Insanity plea was the idea his lawyer adoptive father came up with and that's how he ended up there.

Ch 14 pf 336

It's 4:20, but not the weed smoking 4:20.

John gets involved in some shenhannegans at the scene of  a jack knifed tractor trail that was bleeding.  John drives away and then there's people shooting guns. John through a series of mental mistakes to try to not get noticed ends up flashing his lights on and off at the gunned people several times ,definitely getting their attention.   

Pg 340

John tells Dave he's sure he would have surely been shot at by these people had not a giant crab gorilla thing attacked them.

We've discussed that the use of the R word in this book is upsetting.  This might be the least upsetting use of it as David is using it to describe his feel8ngs about John's story.

Somehow the gun men subdue the beast and drive to the mall.  John follows them there and he walks right into the mall as if he's not at all aware of what a dang place it is.  But no time to investigate he's gotta get to the job site.

5:18

Amy tells David how she ended I'm the school for challenge mentally children.  She was I'm a car accident with her parents. That's how they died.  She currently doesn't have a left hand.  She still had it back then but she was losing control of it and she was on a lot of drugs for the pain related to the car accident. The statement she gives without any real details is that she bit a teacher and was sent there.

346

5:36

John saw some weird stuff at the job site.  Like a door to a hole to he'll or something. 

8:07

David and Amy are asleep in his truck.  John wakes them up via knocking on the window.  They talk about stuff.  Problem is the whole roofing crew is also there and theres a guy named Tyler that tries to give david the advise not to make Amy's problems his problems cause you be too much of a nice guy and now you're taking care of other people for the rest of your life.  He gets punched in the face for his trouble.

Amy and David go back to Davids house, which has been ransacked.   Hes trying to give her the hard truth of their situation.   fun realization David has in all this is that Amy is smarter than him and he decides he won't try to bullshit her.  i'm assuming they have a romantic moment cause the next scene is john showing up and they've both showered.

Ch 15 pg 362

John and david take soy sauce.  They go to the mall with Amy.  They fight some monsters.  They end up in a weird hell factory. Somehow Amy is missing.  John and david leave a glorious trail of violence through the hell factory. They end up meeting Robert North. All Republicans are racist.  Robert explains he was "born" here a month ago.  The powers that be are excited about david and John's ability to move between worlds.  They want to use that ability for nefarious purposes. 

There's a big tank full of black goop.  Robert North says the way to save Amy is in there.  If they focus their minds on it, they will be able to enter.  David starts to go in, outstretched hand first.  He starts to regret thus decision and is considering telling John to chop his arm off as he can't seem to pull it out. Then everything goes black. 

JDATE ch 6 - 11

 Ch 6

Fred chu Getz infected with the bugs that flew out if the detective's eyeballs.  David was gonna, but John lit his arms on fire via booze and the bugs didn't like that.  

They carjack a couple a d go to Las Vegas. They rob Elton John's tourbus for a change of clothes.   They get into Dr macaroni's show and the being formerly known as Justin shows up.  I'm not sure what his plan was,  but David shoots him and soysauce monsters erupt from him and start attacking people. Dr Macaroni is a former priest and can make holy water, but he needs time.  So they save the day with music. Then holy water kills the diamond bugs.  At that point it seems like that wasn't enough as some evil beings are coming through a soysauce portal.  This isn't really explained as the next scene we get is David waking up with a goatee.  Also,  he's in bed with Jennifer Lopez.   He calls John and John knows exactly what this is.  Residual soysauce amnesia. John explains this has happened a few times a day each time the last thing David remembers is Las Vegas.

 Ch 7

Back to the interview. The guy just doesn't believe David.  What he's saying is unbelievable and he has no proof.  David goes on to explain that in addition to whatever came through the portal, people were getting sucked into a portal and when they did, they were removed from space and time.  Because he was there he and probably cause of soysauce David and John can remember another friend that now never existed. Interviewer says he's done here and Davis tells him Las Vegas was just the beginning. 

Also there was only a little bit of soysauce left and David used it at the beginning of this interview to try to impress the interviewer, but that parlor trick isn't proof enough with such a ridiculous story.

Ch 8

The short and hard to remember story of the time after Las Vegas is that John can see dead people now and loves to talk about it.  Jen can to and HATES it and adamantly denies it and doesn't want to talk about it. I believe at some point this caused David and John to have a physical violence fight and John ended up in jail for a bit.   But David doesn't remember that very well and when he gets these bouts of soysauce amnesia John doesn't fill in those particular details. That's what I'm picking up anyway.

This all kinda changes when the three of them are at taco bell and they see the ghost of a dead lady.

then john and david kinda get into the ghost busting business. 

Ch 9 pg 193

David is hearing things.  The demons are taking songs on the radio and making them offensive. Also, food tastes bad.  The demons are making David's life sad and empty.  They have taken away the simple things he enjoyed.  Also, Molly the dog is growling at the shadows.

Ken the weather guy is killed by Molly the dog.  John and Dave go to investigate. Molly the dog is floating in the living room.  A woman named Krissy is there too.  She's a bit in shock and not useful.  Molly says she only serves Korrok.  This is odd because she's a dog and also they don't know who this korrok is.  John gives her a mint with a bible verse printed on it and she explodes. 

That Dame night, the TV sports guy danny wexler says a bunch of offensive stuff on TV.  Dave figures it's something to do with the demons. 

They go to Danny's house.  He's got a video camera video taping his couch.  They must have just left cause they watch the tape and he was recording on the couch not that long ago.  

Also big Jim had soy sauce and sent it to the TV station.   So thats the theoretical cause of all the problems at the TV station today.

Pg 216

They go outside and it's supernaturally dark.  No moon or stars or anything. What there is is cockroaches all over the ground.  They form together as a man a d they steal their car.  Krissy shows up and they chase the cockroach man in her car.  They smash the cars.  Then there's another Molly dog and they follow her to the abandoned mall.

Dave has a gun.  He might shoot the sports TV guy.  He shoots a mutant zombie deer.  

Pg 228

Back to dave and reporter guy.   Reporter guy has had fun but hes gota go.  This might make a fun Halloween article.

Stuff from the Dr's macaroni's book about how the sideways pi symbol that was on Molly's foot and has been seen all over is described as a man standing and eother stabbed in the head and groin with spears or vomiting and urinating at the same time.

He really wants to leave, but Dave convinces him to take him to the mall.

Pg 235

John has a shotgun and they're in the mall looking for monsters or whatever.

I am spoiled by the expanse and their consistent chapters.

There are coyotes and they shoot them with guns.  The TV sports guy shows up.  They offer to take him to the hospital. He says it's too late for that.  His insides are all messed up.  Also there's something specific to the mall or the land the mall was built on something about doors.  Dave doesn't get it.

He has a plan, wait for the shadow man to possess him again and kill him and burn his body.  But that doesn't work out.  Instead the shadow man possesses Dave and shoots John in the head.  But not too badly, just a graze.  Krissy puts a cross on Dave and the shadow moves into her.  But shes religious as fuck.  So the shadow man I guess dies inside her.

Pg 244

Dan and Krissy end up ok and drive off into the sunset.  Theres a cool thing with the video camera at Dan's house where they watch it and Dan's talking to them from the past.  He tells Dave he's the only one that really understands what's at stake.

Pg 248

Dave and the reporter go to the mall.  he explains the mall isnt haunted persay.  Theres nothing consistently here.  These things come and go.  Also they don't have bodies and they appear to be imortal and their hate just builds to infinite values. 

They walk toward the mall together and Dave starts to tell the story of the girl that disappeared.

Ch 10 pg 250

Dave is being watched through his TV.  Snow storm is happening.  As a result, Dave worked a double at the video store.  When he gets home his dresser is open, the Karan he keeps his gun in is on the bed and the gun is missing.  After a bit of looking around, he finds the gun.  It was in his hand.  Also, he's missing a half hour.  Guessing he was possessed.  John calls him to tell him Amy (big John's sister with special needs) is missing.  Dave counts the bullets in his gun.  One is missing.  And these are special explosive rounds.  So Dave is rightfully very worried about where that bullet was shot.

I'm gonna talk some shit about this book for a bit.  Dave gave Amy an offensive nickname in high-school. Earlier in the book Dave seemed to have a moment of shame about that.  But here on the phone with John he goes on and on about it like he was very proud of that accomplishment. Thought maybe there was some character development earlier but I guess the Author forgot about that. 

Dave goes over to Amy's house. John and his cop uncle are there looking around.  Theres four odd things here.  The first is missing Amy.  I'm a little vague on why they know she's missing in the first place. Second, Molly the dog is back.  Third, there's a wierd jellyfish thing that's attracted to electricity and humps the light if you turn it on.  Fourth, there's a wierd bag of (what we will call) fat in the bathroom.  And the door in the bathroom was closed and locked.

Lots of fun mystery. The whole time Dave is feeling like he probably abducted Amy during his missing 30 minutes. Also, he finds his shed key in pocket. He is thinking maybe Amy is in that shed.  He tells John to investigate the jellyfish and he goes back home.

Pg 269

Dave goes home.  On the way there's a wierdo in his back seat that puts a big leech thing on him and says If he keeps driving it'll be ok.  But instead Dave burns the leech with a cigarette lighter and he plans to shoot the guy with the gun, but after stomping the leech into sludge the wierd guy is gone.  Wierd guy called himself Robert North.

Dave makes it to the shed.  There is a human body under a tarp.  

Ch 11 pg 280

Hindsight being 20/20 Dave wishes he had killed himself knowing what was in the shed.

John dies at the end prologue through chapter 5

 Prologue pg 1

David Wong is our narrator. He "works" with the titular John.  They're ghost hunters.  They are visited by a pretty girl saying her dead boyfriend is harassing her.  Turns out she's a ghost.  She posseses a freezer of frozen meat and attacks David and John.  They try to stop it with a boom box, but it destroys the boom box with a canned ham. At that point what they call the "meatstrosity" starts talking about how they've been after this ghost for so long.  Turns out the ghost has them confused for a TV ghost hunters.  They call said TV ghost hunter so they can talk to the ghost.  After talking on the phone for a minute the meatstrosity explodes.  TV ghost hunter is really good.

Ch 1 pg 23

David Wong is not David wong's real name.   It's a fake name to make him hard to Google.  Same as John.  He's being interviewed by a whacky story reporter.  He convinces him he's the real deal by telling him what he dreamed last night.  He tells him about this all started.  It was at a very lame music festival where John's band was playing.  There was a guy there with magic powers similar to the ones David now has.  In this story the guy speaks with a Jamaican accent and does the same thing of telling David what he dreamed last night and betting him a beer he can do it. Only it doesnt convince David to play along. It just makes him want to get the hell away from that guy.

David meets up with John later at the bar and Jamaican accent guy is there. David gets the fuck out of there.  He later throws up a centipede and carved into his hand is the phrase you owe me a beer.

Ch 2 pg 45

John calls David in the middle of the night. He's super crazy high on drugs.  David goes over and "saves" him.  He is planning to take him to the hospital. John talks him out of it.  John is high on a drug the Jamaican accent guy called soy sauce. Jamaican accent guy said his name was Robert Marley. 

Stuff gets crazier when David and John are at a diner and David receives a call from John saying to meet him in Las Vegas.

There is this dog.  It has an address.  They take it to the address.  It's big Jim's house.  Big Jim isn't there.  His sister is and says she thinks Robert Marley killed big Jim.

David takes John and goes to work.  I guess to try to regain some sense of Normalcy. A black bald guy shows up, says he's a detective and they need to go with him.

Ch 3 pg 67

The cops are asking him questions about last night and most everyone involved is dead or missing Jennifer Lopez and big Jim are missing.  That's a good sign cause the alter is dead. Bob marleys real name is Bruce Mathews.  They tell him John died but they're working on making him not dead.  He gets a phone call.  It's John.  He tells him to GTFO!!!!!! And he does.

Ch 4 pg 88

John tells him to go to Bruce Matthew's trailer and he does.  He tells him to specifically not do one thing but gets cut off at a critical time and so David doesn't know what that one thing is.  Bruce's trailer is trippy.  It's got a room painted so if you look it it right it looks like it's outside. Also there's a basement. 

He finds what he's looking for in the freezer.  Frozen wierd black "drug" they're calling soy sauce.  

The detective comes to the trailer and decides he has had enough and burna the trailer with gasoline.  He also shoots david and leaves him for dead.  But the bullet was defective so david isnt dead.  Also a car crashes through the side of the trailer and David gets out and drives the car away.  The car was being driven by big Jim's dog.  The dog is being possesed by John.  John and the rest of the missing people are in an ambulance heading to Las Vegas. So David amd John in the dog body are heading to Las Vegas. 

Ch 5 pg 118

David goes home to shower and change clothes. Justin (who's infested with wierd white not quite bug things) shows up and kicks his ass and throws him and the dog into the back of a truck.  All the other soy sauce people are there.  Big Jim, Jennifer Lopez, John and another guy who's name I forgot.

They are in a booze truck.  They have this plan to make molotov cocktails and throw them at Justin when the truck doors open.  This plan kinda falls apart when he opens the door and Justin just looks like a normal dude.  Jennifer is the only one to throw hers but she misses and everyone else just sorta goes along quietly. 

They're in what I'm gonna call a barn.  Justin plops some sludge on the ground and tells the guy who's name I don't remember to pee on it.  It turns into a monster.

There's a FedEx package that John sent himself.  It has a note that says to get the thing from under the bush.  Justin goes to investigate. There's nothing under the bush.  What there is out there is the detective who shoots Justin a bunch with a shotgun.  Justin drives away in the booze truck.  Everyone else crams into the detective's SUV and they know from psychic powers to head to the luxor in Las Vegas.  They start heading that way until the detective starts talking about the voices and his eyes explode and a bunch of the evil white not bug things that are controlling Justin come out.  

That should be scary enough because it seems like they're all gonna get turned into whatever Justin is.  But it's worse than that cause David tries to grab the steering wheel and doesn't quite manage it and the car drives off the road and flips over.  So we will see if anyone is alive to get infected by evil white not quite bug things.

Cabin in the woods

 One page 7

Gary is glad he doesn't have kids.  Steve and his wife are actively trying to have a kid.  His wife has already child proofed their drawers.  Steve is not handling it well.  He fills his coffee cup til it overflows and then pumps a ton of money into the vending machine to buy a bunch of crap.

Wendy Lin comes along with bad news.  Stockholm has failed.  Now it's down to just Japan and them.  Japan has never failed, but even so, it's a little extra pressure that nobody needs.  Everyone is going to be real tense.

Scene change

Dana likes to rock.  She thinks Dave Grohl is hot.  Her friend Jules thinks he's old and gross and hairy. 

Two 

Three 

Four 

Five 

Six 

Seven 

Eight 

Nine 

Ten 

Eleven 

Twelve 

About the Author

The blinding knife ch 79 to the end.

 Ch 79

Gavin isn't ready to check on Dazen yet.  He wants to do sex to hus sex slave.  But shes not here s o he just goes to sleep.  He wakes up to someone sexually pleasuring him.  He thinks its his sex slaves but it's not.  It's one of the meangirl Hogwarts students.  He's kinda halfheartedly pushing her off as Karris, who has decided to have sex with Gavin (who she knows is really Dazen) pushes her way into the room.  She sees him sexing and runs away.  Gavin kills the Hogwarts meangirl.

ch 80 pg 397

Karris is called to do her black guard duty cause Gavin killed the Hogwarts meangirl.  This is a pain cause she's still dressed for sex, not fighting.

Gavin puts on an invisibility cloak and hides from the people that intend to take him to justice.

Ch 81

dazen escapes for real.  Not into another color prison, but our one of the tunnels Gavin uses to visit Dazen.

Ch 82 pg 407

Kip and Teia talk about the black guard challenge fights and based on who has challenge coins and who's gonna fight who when what the likely end rankings are.

Kip wants Teia to sign the freedom papers.  Teia has a better idea.  The whole system is built around slavery and so if a person is a slave and becomes a black guard their owner gets paid a ton of money.  So kip holds onto Teia's ownership until she becomes a black guard and they split the money.

Ch 83 pg 412

I know Dazen is really Gavin and he was a horrible person.  But I'm always gonna root for a prison break.  Go Dazen Go!!!!

He doesn't make it.  He might have been close, but he set off a booby trap that spelled out the word almost and then dropped him down into the yellow prison.

ch 84 pg 418

Gavin goes down to face Dazen. Lots of screaming ensues.  It seems like they eventually come to am agreement that Dazen will save the world and not harm kip or Karris and Gavin will be exiled to an island for the rest of his short life.  Then Gavin pulls out guns and shoots Dazen dead.  I guess hating your brother is more important than saving the world.

Ch 85 pg 427

 The gurds that were guarding gavin's room (one of whom is naned Gavin) give their testimony to the white about Gavin murdering the higwarts meangirl.  They say Gavin didnt killer.  He pushed her out on the balcony, but then she jumped.  Not sure whats going on here.  In Chapter 79 it seemed pretty clear Gavin threw he r off the balcony.  So maybe theyre lying to protect Gavin or maybe thats what they thunk t hey saw for some reason.

Also, the white gives Karris permission to date Gavin.  That's against the rules currently if any black guard tried ti date the person they were pritecting it woukf be againat the rules.

ch 86 pg 433

Gavin climbs out of the prison and does sex with his sex slave.

Ch 87 pg 437

Kips grandfather summons gavin and says a bunch of mean stuff.  That's his whole deal after all.

ch 88 pg 439

th black guard recruits are doing another mission.  They are split up into teams.  Most of the team is guards and one of them is the "color" and the goal is to get the color to the exit point.  Theyve got money and the gamgs in the area have been informed of the drill so it won't be easy.  Kip's group is kinda doing OK cause kip is their color and he is allowed to shoot people with luxin.

Speaking of shooting, someone with a gun shoots one of the black guard trainees in the neck with a bullet and she's super duper dead.

Ch 89 pg 448

Karris is wandering about the city looking for Gavin.  She gets jumped.  It's very very bad.

Ch 90 pg 451

But not as bad as the black guard recruit we know is already dead.  Her name was Lucia.

It's time for the black guard to go to war.  The trainees will go to war with them. Today is the last fight day.  If you're in the top 14, you are in.  Kip wins a few fights.  He realizes at one point that he has a bit of a conspiracy on his hands.  A group of trainees that are all really good fighters but are currently low ranked, did this on purpose so they could stop him from making it in my challenging up.  So kip challenges as high up as he can and loses the fight.  Things don't look good for Kip.

Ch 91 pg 464

Not sure whats going on here.  My guess is it's kips grandfather looking for the blinding knife.

Ch 92 pg 465

As expected, the group that's working against kip work real crafty like and challenge fighters above kip to push him down a notch.  That is until its Aram's turn.  He's the ringleader of the group.  Kip shames him into picking kip to fight.  Part of this is that you pick the colors you want to fight with. Kip says "ALL OF THEM!!!!" And he thinks this is gonna be awesome.  But then he's told that there are rules against omnichromes using all the colors in black guard fights.  So they end up fighting with just Green.

Aram ends up winning but the fight is so brutal that Aram is disqualified from fighting for the rest of the day.  

Kip goes and sits down next to Gavin and they watch the rest of the fights.  Teia ends up 7th.  Cruxer ends up first.  When the fighting is over Cruxer makes it clear that the testing is over and anything that happens now would count as training.  He then kicks Aram in the knee so hard that it's irreparably broken forever.  Training "accident" and Aram is out and Kip is in.

Ch 93 pg 477

After getting beat up karris tries to limp back home.  Some kindly man finds her and takes her back to the Chromeria.  She wakes up in Gavin's bed.  She is pretty doped up and tells Gavin she wants to see him naked.

Ch 94 pg 479

When Karris wakes up for real Gavin tells her he's Dazen and then he tells her everything else.  But I don't think he tells her he's lost blue and green.  They make out.  The white shows up and they get married.  Now it's Gavin off to plan the war.

Also, we're pretty sure it's Kip's grandfather that had her beaten up and sabotaged Kip's entry into the black guard. 

Ch 95 pg 487

Gavin goes into the war room and sees tjay nobody there was involved in the previous war and tells the generals they don't know what they are doing and leaves.

Ch 96 pg 490

Ironfist tells Gavin He's gotta get a ring. He decides to give her his mom's ring.  He goes to his mom's apartments and finds her slave who explains that she said she'd be freed and Kip's grandfather's man Grinwoody was somehow in charge of the paperwork.  Kip's grandfather being a dipshit Gavin isn't gonna stand for this shit.  He breaks into Kip's grandfather's apartments and gets her paperwork and steals a deck of magic the gathering cards.  

He goes to his moms and gets some money to give to her slave and the ring to give to Karris.

The ring has already been resized for Karris.  It sucks that Kip didn’t get to hang out with his grandmother.  She sounds great.

Ch 97 pg 497

Gavin and ironfist get in a boat and use magic to go real fast and they find the color prince's army.  Also Ilytian ships supplying said army.  

I'm very confused about directions and distances here.  Looking at where the chromeria is and where Ru is It seems like you would head east to get to the Atashian coast and then go north.  But they "overshot the Color Prince's army, going too far south"  but they wouldn't be going south.  They'd be going northeast.  Maybe the map and the words in the book aren't actually related.

Gavin and ironfist go all the way from Ru to Idoss and back and get all the intel they'll need to murder a bunch of relatively innocent sailors tomorrow.   They meet up with the navy headed to Ru and get people ready for tomorrow.  Kip finds Gavin and tells him he wants to come tomorrow.  Gavin has one question,  if he sees Liv and she's attacking will he kill her?  If the answer is no, he can't come.  You can't watch someone's back unless you're willing to kill anyone that would try to stab them.

Ch 98 pg 502

Gavin has a bunch of skimmers and he shows the black guards how to make them go.  They find a big pirate ship.  They talk about how to attack it.  The first three rules of skimmer fight club is go fast.

Ch 99 pg 508 Liv 

Liv and the guy that tried to kill Gavin with the blinding knife are doing sex a lot.  The color prince comes to talk to Liv.  He has some grand plan for her and he isn't telling her what it is.  He has her try to guess.  She does not guess.  

We also find out they don't just have some help from Ilysian ships, they have the full support of the Ilysian navy and they have all but wiped out the Atashian navy already.

Ch 100 pg 513

Kip and his dad and a bunch of black guards go to fight a big pirate ship.   Kip does a cool thing where he uses ultraviolet luxin to draw lines to all the guns every pirate is holding and then sends ultra red to blow them all up.  His dad infects a rat on the ship with red luxin and makes it blow itself up in the gun powder room and it blows up the rest of the ship that Kip's shenhannegans with the guns didn't finish up.

Ch 101 pg 524

Kip's dad goes back to seer Island.  The seer tells him he's gotta go get Karris.  If he doesn't he'll die.  He's gonna die pretty soon anyway, but he's got time enough to do what must be done if he gets Karris.  If he doesn't, he'll die and the old gods will come back.

Also, the seer and the general are married now.  I suppose we gotta couple the main characters with sexy lamps before the end of the book.

Ch 102 pg 533

Zymon ( the guy that failed to kill gav in with the blinding knife) is planning to betray the color prince.  Liv recognizes in this moment just how insane and unstable Zymon is.  She had previously planned to have a prolonged period of making Zymon not like her.  But shes gotta pace up that plan quite a bit.  So she goes to the color prince and tells him about Zymon's planned betrayal.  He knows.  This was his great purpose for her.  To get confirmation that Zymon planned to betray him.

What we hear next is what i presume to be the color prince sending Zymon on  suicide mission.

Ch 103 pg 537

The black guard get in thir lttle boats with their luxin bombs and blow up some bad guy boats.  One of them gets shot.  They go to a nearby village to see a bunch of whales having beached there.  They talk to a guy who tells them about not only this weirdness but also all sorts of other insanity.  Theres a wrongness to things.  The green luxin users can feel it the most.  They go home.  When ironfist goes out the next day he doesnt bring any greens with him.  

kip's grandfather invites him to play magic the gathering.  So hes got something to do instead of blowing up boats.

Ch 104 pg 542

Karris and gavin do sex.  More importantly, they talk about their feelings.

Ch 105 pg 552

Kips grandfather apologies for trying to kill kip and make him not get into the black guard.  He had thought of doing the freeing after his wife, but torturing kip has renewed his will to live. He thanks kip for that. 

ch 106 pg 556

Gavin goes to the Chromeria heads and tells them what's what as far as the war effort is concerned. 

Ch 107 pg 558

Gavin is leading a group to destroy the green blight.  They go to Ru to see whats going on there.  Based on ship positions that the color prince already has the fort amd jes going to lure the Chromeria ships in with his weak middle and then destroy them with the guns from the fort.

but they're not here for that.  They use their greens sense to feel tje wrongness of green.  The y make it to where it feels as wrong as it has and they only see a handful of boats.  Gavin makes a realization that the blight is under water.  They attack the boats and the blight suffaces and its hella scary.

ch 108 pg 566

Ironfist's group is tasked with retaking the fort.  He takes Teia with him because she can use her xray vision to see through walls and tell if soldiers habe armor on under their cloaks.  They kill a bunch of dudes on the path up to the fort.

They get some resistance and some black guards get killed.  Teia is surrounded and is gonna get shot to death and then she kills all those guys with xrays.

They take over the cannons just in time to see the green blight emerge from the ocean.

Ch 109 pg 581

Liv is with the team thats sneaking into the city through a secret tunnel to I guess get the main doors open so the real army can attack for real.  It goes OK.  The city of Ru had a pyramid with a mirror thing at the top.thays controlled by ultraviolet luxin. Liv uses it to send green light to the green blight.  

She does this seeing that Gavin and Kip and Karris are down there trying to stop it.  She knows they're going to die, but it will be worth it if they can remake the world.

Ch 110 pg 592

Kip kills the green God with the blinding knife. Iron fist helps a bit with shooting cannons at the green tower as it tried to birth the green God.  Gavin and Karris are still alive.  

Ch 111 pg 610

Kips grandfather summons gavin.  Kip goes with. Somehow kip figures out that his grandfather is a red wight.  He goes to take off his glasses so Gavin can see.  Kips grandfather stabs kip.  Kip stabs his grandfather.  Kips grandfather man gets in on the fight and somehow Gavin ends up getting stabbed in the chest with the blinding knife and falls overboard.   Kip jumps in after him.

Ch 112 pg 616

Kip saves Gavin.  As much as you can save someone with a sword in their chest.  Who really saves them is gunner.  His ship finds them and pulls them up out of the water.  He also pulls the sword out of Gavin and he's still really alive.

Ch 113 pg 619

Liv and the color prince talk.  They have largely taken the city.  Further brutality and depravity will ensue until they fully control it.  The color prince thinks Zymun is dead because he knows at one point they took the point but then the Black guards took it back.  So he probably died in the fight.  Also he says he knows Gavin is dead.  What he really knows is that Gavin no longer has control over any powers and so Banes of every color will emerge.

He gives Liv a choker and says he has a true great purpose for her ultraviolet powers.

Ch 114 pg 620

I guess stabbing Gavin with the blinding knife stole the color from Gavin into Kip's grandfather. His eyes are back to normal.  No longer a wight.  He thinks he has 10 good years left.

I guess kip was thrown off of Gunner's ship as he washed up on the shore.  Zymun is there.  And he has news.  He is Gavin and Karris's child.  They're brothers.  Kip has a brother, how lovely. He has been communicating with Kip's grandfather.   

Ch 115 pg 623

Gavin is completely color blind.