Carl was "lucky" to be outside when the syndicate repo'd the earth. He wasn't instantly killed when all buildings were smooshed. He and his girlfriends cat are gonna go into a DND dungeon and try to survive.
Ch 2 pg 13
Carl and cat make their way through the dungeon to a rat man i a tutorial room. Carl has to punch a couple goblins before rat man let's him in. Rat man is named mordekai.
This book has got me. I care if Carl lives or dies. Here's the key quote from Carl that did it "i didn't have time to think about the stupidity of the jokes."
Ch 3 pg 24
Carl asks mordekai for advice. Mordekai says if he doesnt do something about the goblins theyre gonna go home and get their whole family and come back. Carl doesnt love this so he kills the remaining goblins and comes back. Mordekai then explains that humans aren't special, this is one of many human seeded worlds and humans never do well in these dungeons as theyre too busy asking why this is happening and they get killed waiting around for answers instead of rolling with the punches like the arakocra mordekai comes from. Omg, you seen regular show? There's a bird man named mordekai on that show. Wonder if this mordekai is based on that character.
Ch 4 pg 34
Mordekai explains a bunch of game mechanics to Carl. The bit that's interesting to me is that this is an intergalactic reality show. And its kinda like the hunger games in that people can sponsor you and send you stuff.
Ch 5 pg 48
SOme of this world building matt is doing here is dumb. They've been building and destroying planets for thousands of years. But they only figured out certain really common sense stuff last season. So they've been doing it wrong for eons?
Carl gets his stuff. No shoes or pants. But this is DND so maybe the stuff he got that we haven't had described will be good. The funnest thing is a legendary pet biscuit. Mordekai tells him its worth hundreds of gold and he's not sure whether to use or sell it and donut solves that problem by jumping up and eating said biscuit. He turns into a gross blob. Mordekai says it might take 5 to 10 minutes for this to sort itself out.
Ch 6 pg 57
Some of carls gear is pretty good. He's now effectively the strongest person that's ever lived. Also, his cat can talk.
Ch 7 pg 62
Cat is super strong now. But its all superior and what not and Carl tells it to fuck right off. Cat appologizes and they make due together.
Ch 8
Fighting a lot of rats and cockroaches.
Ch 9
They find a sage room and it's good and thers a fuzzy dwarf that cooks good food for them.
Ch 10
They fight lots of cockroaxyes.
Ch 11
They get to the cockroach boss fight. It's a giant Hispanic lady. They win the fight.
Ch 12
They get a map from winning the boss fight and are able to find another safe room where mordekai is and he explains some things.
Ch 13
They do some more exploring and find a dead lady. She was killed by another player with a shotgun. They're gonna a track down the son of a witch that did this and kill him.
Ch 14 pg 113
They go back to the food safe room and they watch the ad for what's going to be their show and donut is uoset that they didn't get featured. The food guy tells them sad stuff about how all this has previously worked.
.ch 15
Theyre exploring and they are no good at fighting slimes.
They make their way to the goblins area and they make a deal to buy a moped off of the goblins for the baggies of meth they have and info as to where they got it.
Ch 16
The goblins go to steal the llamas' meth and Carl and donut steal a bunch of stuff.
Ch 17
They also use the goblins own gunpowder against them. They load it all up in a cart and roll it into the goblins boss chamber and blow it up.
Ch 18
They go back to the room they blew up to do more looting and there's nothing there.
Ch 19 pg 141
Also with the goblins boss was a bunch of babies goblins. They get an achievement for killing babies.
They get to a safe room and this one sucks. No friendly cooking or guidance npc to talk to. Just a cookie that gives you 10 experience.
They open a bunch of the achievement boxes They got and Carl feels bad about himself. But not that bad. None of this is his fault. It's the aliens fault. Carl is just trying to exist.
Ch 20 pg 149
Remember they found rebeca wong's dead body and vowed vengeance against doug m killed them? Well, they find doug m hiding out in a bathroom. Cat wants to magic missile him, but Carl has a better idea, he goes back to the safe room. Doug has an experience cookie and shiots at donut. But it doesn't work cause they're in a safe room. Also Doug has a partner Maggie my who shoots at Carl. Doug and Maggie are temporarily frozen. Carl and donut run away. But Carl leaves some goblin bombs seconds from explosion in a dead rat and a trap. We will see how that goes.
Ch 21 pg 163
Carl gets on his goblin moped and heads east. They find spray paint messages and follow them. They end up next to the burrough boss, which appears to be a giant fleshy packman that moves very fast in a circle.
Ch 22
They find the people doing the spray painting. It's a bunch of old people. This blows Carl's mind. How the hell could a group of elder lies have made it this long? Because their caregivers are with them. All the stories are sad. But Carl has a plan. He's gonna grind and get stronger and then the bunch of them are gonna fight the fleshy packman. Carl has a plan.
The elderly home is in Wenatchee 143.1 miles by car from Seattle.
Ch 23 pg 180
They go fight lizaeprd people to level up. The old folks Homer's specifically told them not to do that cause they are venemous. But Carl's Cape makes him immune to poison. They do pretty good with donut zapping lizard folk with magic missile and Carl finishing them off. Donut refuses to actually attack anything cause it is beneath her. She might get dirty. We will see how that goes as Carl lights up his penultimate cigarette and they step into a boss fight.
Ch 24
The boss fight is a gym and the lizard folk are dude bros. Especially the boss. Carl had a few scrolls of fog and it basically gives him cover enough to take out all the underlings while donut flings magic missile at the boss. Now it's just Carl and the boss and donut. The boss is amazingly strong. Carl whacks him with some weights and he's feeling pretty good about himself and the boss's health is super low. But the boss gets a hand on Carl's neck. This is it. Carl isn't gonna see tomorrow. But no, donut leaps in and bites the boss and does enough damage to get his full attention. We see here that donut is a glass cannon. One hit and donut is flung across the room looking hella dead. Carl finishes off the boss and donut is not dead.
Ch 25 pg 194
They go to a training room to go through their loot and ask mortekai a bunch of questions. He explains that your stats matter when using items. They should have had donut use the scrolls because her intelligence score makes them more powerful. The coolest thing is Carl gets a gauntlet so he can punch things without taking damage.
Ch 26 pg 203
They are ready to fight the boss. It is the ball of swine. It's a bunch of pig people in tuxedos and dresses like theyre going to a fancy party but theyre mushed together in a big ball that just.keeps rolling forever it seems.
They put together a kinda ramp thing that gets the ball of swine stuck in a tunnel. Then they stab it a lot. Eventually the ball sorta loses cohesion. Then the pig people separate out. They are all very confused. Carl should feel bad about this. But fear has taken over and so he uses his cool new gauntlet to punch a bunch of relatively harmless pig people to death.
Ch 27
They finish killing the pig people. Carl also tells donut theyre gonna stick with the old people. He phrases it like a question but donut knows he's an old softie. They go down to the second level, except they dont end up in another dungeon. They end up in an interview room. They're gonna be on the show. Donut is soooo excited.
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