Mole people are invading from underground. They don't know it yet, but they've made a horrible mistake. When does the main guy know? When superman (that's not his name in this book but I don't really feel like remember his real name so I'm calling him superman) kicks him in the balls. He continues to save the day. Cut to the hall of justice (or whatever it's called here) the super heros and sidekicks are commeting on how superman did. Sam is our main character and narator. I am assuming he's a sidekick. Their boss (dirk, who's a dick) wants someone to do something over the weekend and is saying they should miss their grandkid's play to do it. Sam comments that's not how this works. There are rules. Dirk can't make people work on the weekend. So Dirk is like "Sam can do it" ( I hate Dirk, he reminds me of Sarah ) and Sam is like "no, I have my kid this weekend" and Dirk is like "Kara can do it and you can cover her next weekend" and Sam's like "the hell?" and Dirk needs Sam to work late tonight. I really hope something horrible happens to Dirk.
ch 2 page 13
Sam is late to pick up his kid (God DAMN IT DIRK!!!!) His ex is Laura and she's shacked up with Brian, who cancelled their land line. His kid is named Corey and Sam's all uppity cause Corey has already eaten and he wnated to take him to five guys. Sam kinda sucks. Everyone in this book sucks so far. It's just like real life. Sam has to take the bus home. Depressing is a MAJOR understatement. Corey has an oscar the grouch backpack. I feel like this is something I need. i searched amazon and couldn't find one. They walk home cause the bus is full of people wearing gang colors. They go to a convenience store cause corey wants a hotdog. the convenience store gets held up. This is a real bummer for Sam. Sam has superpowers and uses themt o turn the rober's gun into butter. Then the swat team comes in and arrests Sam. This sucks super hard.
ch 3 page 25
Absorbo is on a space station. There's some sort of iminent doom. He's running as fast as he can to the com station so he can warn earth of what's coming.
ch 4 page 27
Sams in jail or something. He's worried about Corey. Corey's fine, he's back with his mom and not step father. Whoever this is that has him trapped like a rat has been tracking him for 20 years. A lady comes into the room. After a while he and she realize they know each other and they know that they have super powers. A big gorilla lookin dude comes in. He's eating pistatios shell and all. Just the idea of it makes me gag. There's also a guy that's been hiding under the desk. He's got a grubby beard and he's wearing a really bad costume.
ch 5 page 40
The guy in the lame costume is talking in the absolute worst grumbly christian Bale batman voice. It's super bad. Sam and the lady can't understand him very well. The gorilla guy explains to Sam that the robbery was a setup. The robber was one of their men and the whole thing was to get Sam to use his super pwoers. The lady is Anna Allen and she used to be known as Allergy Girl, sidekick to Memetzo. The other guy is Randy Rabbo formerly Buterfly Kid, sidekick to Su Man Chu and a couple others. And Sam's AKA is Kid Random sidekick of Doc Mighty (the guy I called superman in the first chapter) The gorilla guy is named Chuck and he's in charge of the Sidekick initiative. There are extenuating circumstances and the US goverment needs everyone bck in the gme. Sam's all like "NOOO, I have a family!!!" And Chuck is all like "you see your kid one weekend a month, let's not oversell it." I LOL'd at that. Sam tries to leave, Chuck's like "door's unlocked" and when he does he is greated with a full on blizzard. Turns out they're near the north pole cause that's where Doc Mighty has relocated his place of me time. Chuck tells them things are horribly bad and they need their help. He starts to show them a video.
ch 6 page 51
The video is the super friend's space station with Absorbo talking about the horrible thing that has befallen them. Doc Mighty's dead body is floating in space behind him. Absorbo gets his head cut off. All the super friends are dead. Chuck's pitch is that Sam, Randy and Anna should join up with the sidekick initiative to help fight the supervillans that are definitely going to rise up when it becomes appearant that the superfirneds aren't there to stop them. There's lots of kveching. Sam and Anna want to leave. Chuck's last pitch is to tell Sam that he's the most powerful superperson. Even more powerful than Doc Mighty. He turned a gun into butter. That's not nothing. Chuck says fine, leave. When he opens the door, it's not the artic anymore. It's a basketball court. There is a catch through. There's some evil henchmen here and they're gonna try to kill them. Chuck closes the door.
