Thursday, June 10, 2010

the PAC AWESOME is born

From the start this whole thing seemed preposterous. Pry Texas and Oklahoma from the Big 12? NO WAY!!!

I think this video explains it best

Knowing that Nebraska (played by La Parka in the video) went heel on the big 12 (as played by the fan in the video) it makes A LOT more sense. This whole Big 10 Pac 10 merge into super conference thing needs to be played out by the presidents of the universities in the ring. Here's my vision...

Scene 1: Texas and Ohio State in the ring. It's going all Texas in the beginning and Nebraska is in his corner cheering loudly. Then at some point in the match Michigan gives Nebraska the high sign (am I using that right?) and Nebraska comes into the ring and hits Texas in the head with a chair. Texas is down OH NO!!!

Scene 2: Texas is in the middle of the ring on the ground in pain. The crowd is booing like crazy as Nebraska walks does laps around the ring repeatedly doing the hulk hogan arm swing to ear cup let me hear ya move. Nebraska does a couple elbow drops to back as Texas cries out in pain. It looks like it's all over for Texas. Then suddenly out of the tunnel comes Oklahoma and he's got Arizona and USC with him. THE HELL YOU SAY?!?! What are Arizona and USC doing at a big 10/big 12 match? Bedlam ensues as USC and Oklahoma wail on Nebraska. Texas has a miraculous recovery and he's pounding away at Ohio State while Arizona has Michigan in a full nelson. Things look bad for the Big 10.

Scene 3: You hear the music blast while two more men are coming down the tunnel. It's Penn State and he's got a masked man with him. The Big 12 is out matched and out manned. They've got no chance. They just don't have the numbers. The masked man has USC in a figure four head lock while Ohio State prepares for an elbow drop off the top ropes. Michigan and Nebraska throw Texas out of the ring and he hits the metal guard rail face first. Chairs are flying around like crazy. The audience is shocked and appalled.

Scene 4: Texas A&M comes down the tunnel with Oregon and Cal. Stanford is sitting in the stands with a spread sheet tallying up a cost estimate of the damage the wrestlers are doing the stadium. Ohio State jumps off the top ropes for a final blow on USC, but Cal catches him mid air and executes a perfect knee back breaker (that's a thing right?) Texas A&M kicks the masked man right in the face and USC is free again. Oregon grabs the masked man and the Pac AWESOME has the match firmly in hand. USC gets up off the mat and looks the masked man in the eye as he rips the mask off his face. OH MY GOD IT"S NOTRE DAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oregon kicks Notre Dame square in the nuts and is crowned national champion.

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