the book of elsewhere

Ch 1 prologue

There's a group of armed men.  They get blown up by a suicide bomber.

Only named character is ulafson.

There's a shadowy figure that's watching all this.  He's so tired.

Ch 2 the doctors story pg 8

The doctor is dying.  Saddest part is his medicine smells so bad his dog won't go near him.  He reminisces about an old patient he had.  Doctor is a psychiatrist. The patient was a soldier and described killing and being killed and coming back and doing it all over again.

Wonder if this is ulafson.

Ch 3 signs of life pg 11

Two characters investigating the sight of a violent scene where a bunch of people died in the hidden back rooms of a machine shop.

Characters are named B and keever.  B is the main character and mentions Ulafson in his internal monologue.

In talking about the scene there's a report from above that there are life signs.  B starts digging through The bodies and tries to find the live people.  Keever tells b the whole site is unstable and they should gtfo and specifically uses the phrase "some of us can die" which makes me think b is like the doctors patient that I think is Olafson in that he can be brought back after dying and keever is not.

They find the alive guy.  His name is Thakka.  When they try to get him to talk, he only talks about his dog.

Ch 4 water ph 23

This is fun backstory about our immortal friend.  He's born, he's Hella violent until he dies.  Then he's born again.  You know how Davy crocket killed a bear when he was 3?  This guy did it before he was 1.he killed a leviathan.  Then the crew of that ship abandoned him.  He killed an entire city.  When he comes back this time he's hatched from an egg underwater and has to swim to the surface. 

This imortal warrior is named Unute.

Ch 5 new dark pg 34

B is Unute.  Something about this whole thakka situation has upset him and he has gone awol.  This is not new.  He does this.  The government is OK with it.  When you've got an immortal warrior on your side you let things slide.

Another fun thing about the Thakka situation is that technically he was dead before B went down there and then he came back to life.  Maybe immortality is infectious.

B comes back with some dead thing with hooves.

the southern book club's guide to slaying vampires.

Prologue to ch 11

Authors note.  Pg 8

This author also wrote my best friends exorcism. That book is about children.  This book is about grown ass adults.  This I Dracula vs your mom.  Spoiler alert, Dracula doesn't stand a chance.

Prologue pg 10

Blood.  This book ends in it.  All of life starts with it.  All vampire books have blood.  As an added bonus this boom also has an unremarkable group of house wives.  House wives that are gonna kill vampires. 

Ch1 pg 14

Patricia Campbell is part of a monthly book  club. I get the impression that it's big.  One person talks about the book while everyone else is just the audience. Today she's the talker .  90 minutes to book club and she hasn't read the book.  

Marjorie is the dictator of book club.  She has a fake democratic process by which she claims to have never heard of any book anyone else suggests and she presents 13 books she likes to vote on.

Patricia goes to book club even though she didn't read the book.  She tries to make some stuff up but Marjorie sees through it pretty quickly. But it turns out nobody read the book.

While leaving kitty shrugs invites her to a true crime book club.

Ch 2 pg 24

Kitty stops by Patricia's house and there's a thing with Patricia's daughter and it shows us that kitty is cool.  So Patricia reads the book she didnt want to in three days and goes to kitty's book club.

It's fun, they're having fun.  Even though some of them have to lie to their shitty husband's.

Patricia's mother in law comes to live with them and it sucks.  But the troops rally and it's not so bad.

Ch 3 pg 40

They chitchat about the neighborhood. The most interesting part is there's a creepy van.

Ch 4 pg 48

Patriis attacked by old mrs savage taking out the trash.

Ch 5 pg 56

People in a small town talk a lot and fast.  Who needs the news when you've got a small town gossip.  The lady that bit off Patricia`s ear, she died.

Ch 6 pg 64

Patricia goes to the lady that bit her ear off's house to bring her nephew a casserole.   She finds him in his bedroom just lying there.  Yes not breathing.  She does CPR, she used to be a nurse.  He gets up and says GTFO.  She does.  He must be a vampire. 

Ch 7 pg 70

The vampire brings back Patricia's dish.  Mom calls him hoyt cause I guess that's the name he used when he was a vampire back in her day.

Ch 8

Patricia is helping vampire do all sorts of things like pay his water bill and change it to his name and open a bank account and she tells him about book club.

Ch 9 pg 94

Vampire comes to book club at Patricia's house and mom calls him hoyt again.  

Ch 10 pg 104

The vsmpire tries to kill mom but it doesn't work out 

Ch 11

Mom tells Patricia the story of hoyt pickens.  She starts by saying he killed her daddy.  He came down from the north and convinced her dad to invest more in his moonshine side hustle.  Also around the time kids go missing.  Hoyt pickens blames a black man and they bury him alive under the peach tree.  Then Hoyt disappears and every thing goes bad.

Ch 12

.Patricia goes to a party.

The vampire attacks mom with rats.

It's truly horrifying.

Also if you see her son, punch him in the face.

Ch 13 pg 133

Patricia and kitty go visit miss green. Fun revelation here i. The black town.  Kids are disappearing.  So thats who the vampire is eating.

Ch 14 pg 145