Jdate ch 12 through 15

 Ch 12 pg 281

Dave tries to tell John he killed Amy.  Problem is, Amy is there.  She doesn't know where she was.  But shes back.  Also, jellyfish monster is gone. Maybe Amy is jellyfish?

John shows Amy a cool goop thing that can form any shape and gets angry and bites spoons when you say mean things about it.  This is an attempt to earn Amy's trust so she will talk about what's been going on with her.

It works well enough that she's willing to show them the basement.

In the basement is scifi special effects stuff Big Jim was working on.  Its all super cool.  And a lot of it is what theyve been dealing with.  Shadow men and portals to another world.  Maybe Jim has all the answers even though hes dead now.

Pg 292

Dave goes home and falls asleep and wakes up to being paralyzed and Robert North is there.  He eats a spider.

He goes to work.  John's uncle, who is a cop and was with them at Amy's last night cones in a little on edge.  Dave hands him mullhulland falls to rent.

John calls Dave and tells him to drop everything and meet him at Dennys. John's girlfriend is the most beautiful woman Dave has ever seen.  And he's young dumb and full of cum so he's gonna stare at her boobs.

John hands him a news paper with a transcript of an internet chat Amy was in before her abduction. 

Ch 13 pg 306

David goes over to Amy's house. Shafoqmen show up.  They drive away.  Shadowmen attack them on the drive.  They get away, as they're driving he tells her the story of how he ended up in the school for the mentally challenged. Five kids were abusing hum and he stabbed one of em's eyes out.  Insanity plea was the idea his lawyer adoptive father came up with and that's how he ended up there.

Ch 14 pf 336

It's 4:20, but not the weed smoking 4:20.

John gets involved in some shenhannegans at the scene of  a jack knifed tractor trail that was bleeding.  John drives away and then there's people shooting guns. John through a series of mental mistakes to try to not get noticed ends up flashing his lights on and off at the gunned people several times ,definitely getting their attention.   

Pg 340

John tells Dave he's sure he would have surely been shot at by these people had not a giant crab gorilla thing attacked them.

We've discussed that the use of the R word in this book is upsetting.  This might be the least upsetting use of it as David is using it to describe his feel8ngs about John's story.

Somehow the gun men subdue the beast and drive to the mall.  John follows them there and he walks right into the mall as if he's not at all aware of what a dang place it is.  But no time to investigate he's gotta get to the job site.

5:18

Amy tells David how she ended I'm the school for challenge mentally children.  She was I'm a car accident with her parents. That's how they died.  She currently doesn't have a left hand.  She still had it back then but she was losing control of it and she was on a lot of drugs for the pain related to the car accident. The statement she gives without any real details is that she bit a teacher and was sent there.

346

5:36

John saw some weird stuff at the job site.  Like a door to a hole to he'll or something. 

8:07

David and Amy are asleep in his truck.  John wakes them up via knocking on the window.  They talk about stuff.  Problem is the whole roofing crew is also there and theres a guy named Tyler that tries to give david the advise not to make Amy's problems his problems cause you be too much of a nice guy and now you're taking care of other people for the rest of your life.  He gets punched in the face for his trouble.

Amy and David go back to Davids house, which has been ransacked.   Hes trying to give her the hard truth of their situation.   fun realization David has in all this is that Amy is smarter than him and he decides he won't try to bullshit her.  i'm assuming they have a romantic moment cause the next scene is john showing up and they've both showered.

Ch 15 pg 362

John and david take soy sauce.  They go to the mall with Amy.  They fight some monsters.  They end up in a weird hell factory. Somehow Amy is missing.  John and david leave a glorious trail of violence through the hell factory. They end up meeting Robert North. All Republicans are racist.  Robert explains he was "born" here a month ago.  The powers that be are excited about david and John's ability to move between worlds.  They want to use that ability for nefarious purposes. 

There's a big tank full of black goop.  Robert North says the way to save Amy is in there.  If they focus their minds on it, they will be able to enter.  David starts to go in, outstretched hand first.  He starts to regret thus decision and is considering telling John to chop his arm off as he can't seem to pull it out. Then everything goes black. 

JDATE ch 6 - 11

 Ch 6

Fred chu Getz infected with the bugs that flew out if the detective's eyeballs.  David was gonna, but John lit his arms on fire via booze and the bugs didn't like that.  

They carjack a couple a d go to Las Vegas. They rob Elton John's tourbus for a change of clothes.   They get into Dr macaroni's show and the being formerly known as Justin shows up.  I'm not sure what his plan was,  but David shoots him and soysauce monsters erupt from him and start attacking people. Dr Macaroni is a former priest and can make holy water, but he needs time.  So they save the day with music. Then holy water kills the diamond bugs.  At that point it seems like that wasn't enough as some evil beings are coming through a soysauce portal.  This isn't really explained as the next scene we get is David waking up with a goatee.  Also,  he's in bed with Jennifer Lopez.   He calls John and John knows exactly what this is.  Residual soysauce amnesia. John explains this has happened a few times a day each time the last thing David remembers is Las Vegas.

 Ch 7

Back to the interview. The guy just doesn't believe David.  What he's saying is unbelievable and he has no proof.  David goes on to explain that in addition to whatever came through the portal, people were getting sucked into a portal and when they did, they were removed from space and time.  Because he was there he and probably cause of soysauce David and John can remember another friend that now never existed. Interviewer says he's done here and Davis tells him Las Vegas was just the beginning. 

Also there was only a little bit of soysauce left and David used it at the beginning of this interview to try to impress the interviewer, but that parlor trick isn't proof enough with such a ridiculous story.

Ch 8

The short and hard to remember story of the time after Las Vegas is that John can see dead people now and loves to talk about it.  Jen can to and HATES it and adamantly denies it and doesn't want to talk about it. I believe at some point this caused David and John to have a physical violence fight and John ended up in jail for a bit.   But David doesn't remember that very well and when he gets these bouts of soysauce amnesia John doesn't fill in those particular details. That's what I'm picking up anyway.

This all kinda changes when the three of them are at taco bell and they see the ghost of a dead lady.

then john and david kinda get into the ghost busting business. 

Ch 9 pg 193

David is hearing things.  The demons are taking songs on the radio and making them offensive. Also, food tastes bad.  The demons are making David's life sad and empty.  They have taken away the simple things he enjoyed.  Also, Molly the dog is growling at the shadows.

Ken the weather guy is killed by Molly the dog.  John and Dave go to investigate. Molly the dog is floating in the living room.  A woman named Krissy is there too.  She's a bit in shock and not useful.  Molly says she only serves Korrok.  This is odd because she's a dog and also they don't know who this korrok is.  John gives her a mint with a bible verse printed on it and she explodes. 

That Dame night, the TV sports guy danny wexler says a bunch of offensive stuff on TV.  Dave figures it's something to do with the demons. 

They go to Danny's house.  He's got a video camera video taping his couch.  They must have just left cause they watch the tape and he was recording on the couch not that long ago.  

Also big Jim had soy sauce and sent it to the TV station.   So thats the theoretical cause of all the problems at the TV station today.

Pg 216

They go outside and it's supernaturally dark.  No moon or stars or anything. What there is is cockroaches all over the ground.  They form together as a man a d they steal their car.  Krissy shows up and they chase the cockroach man in her car.  They smash the cars.  Then there's another Molly dog and they follow her to the abandoned mall.

Dave has a gun.  He might shoot the sports TV guy.  He shoots a mutant zombie deer.  

Pg 228

Back to dave and reporter guy.   Reporter guy has had fun but hes gota go.  This might make a fun Halloween article.

Stuff from the Dr's macaroni's book about how the sideways pi symbol that was on Molly's foot and has been seen all over is described as a man standing and eother stabbed in the head and groin with spears or vomiting and urinating at the same time.

He really wants to leave, but Dave convinces him to take him to the mall.

Pg 235

John has a shotgun and they're in the mall looking for monsters or whatever.

I am spoiled by the expanse and their consistent chapters.

There are coyotes and they shoot them with guns.  The TV sports guy shows up.  They offer to take him to the hospital. He says it's too late for that.  His insides are all messed up.  Also there's something specific to the mall or the land the mall was built on something about doors.  Dave doesn't get it.

He has a plan, wait for the shadow man to possess him again and kill him and burn his body.  But that doesn't work out.  Instead the shadow man possesses Dave and shoots John in the head.  But not too badly, just a graze.  Krissy puts a cross on Dave and the shadow moves into her.  But shes religious as fuck.  So the shadow man I guess dies inside her.

Pg 244

Dan and Krissy end up ok and drive off into the sunset.  Theres a cool thing with the video camera at Dan's house where they watch it and Dan's talking to them from the past.  He tells Dave he's the only one that really understands what's at stake.

Pg 248

Dave and the reporter go to the mall.  he explains the mall isnt haunted persay.  Theres nothing consistently here.  These things come and go.  Also they don't have bodies and they appear to be imortal and their hate just builds to infinite values. 

They walk toward the mall together and Dave starts to tell the story of the girl that disappeared.

Ch 10 pg 250

Dave is being watched through his TV.  Snow storm is happening.  As a result, Dave worked a double at the video store.  When he gets home his dresser is open, the Karan he keeps his gun in is on the bed and the gun is missing.  After a bit of looking around, he finds the gun.  It was in his hand.  Also, he's missing a half hour.  Guessing he was possessed.  John calls him to tell him Amy (big John's sister with special needs) is missing.  Dave counts the bullets in his gun.  One is missing.  And these are special explosive rounds.  So Dave is rightfully very worried about where that bullet was shot.

I'm gonna talk some shit about this book for a bit.  Dave gave Amy an offensive nickname in high-school. Earlier in the book Dave seemed to have a moment of shame about that.  But here on the phone with John he goes on and on about it like he was very proud of that accomplishment. Thought maybe there was some character development earlier but I guess the Author forgot about that. 

Dave goes over to Amy's house. John and his cop uncle are there looking around.  Theres four odd things here.  The first is missing Amy.  I'm a little vague on why they know she's missing in the first place. Second, Molly the dog is back.  Third, there's a wierd jellyfish thing that's attracted to electricity and humps the light if you turn it on.  Fourth, there's a wierd bag of (what we will call) fat in the bathroom.  And the door in the bathroom was closed and locked.

Lots of fun mystery. The whole time Dave is feeling like he probably abducted Amy during his missing 30 minutes. Also, he finds his shed key in pocket. He is thinking maybe Amy is in that shed.  He tells John to investigate the jellyfish and he goes back home.

Pg 269

Dave goes home.  On the way there's a wierdo in his back seat that puts a big leech thing on him and says If he keeps driving it'll be ok.  But instead Dave burns the leech with a cigarette lighter and he plans to shoot the guy with the gun, but after stomping the leech into sludge the wierd guy is gone.  Wierd guy called himself Robert North.

Dave makes it to the shed.  There is a human body under a tarp.  

Ch 11 pg 280

Hindsight being 20/20 Dave wishes he had killed himself knowing what was in the shed.

John dies at the end prologue through chapter 5

 Prologue pg 1

David Wong is our narrator. He "works" with the titular John.  They're ghost hunters.  They are visited by a pretty girl saying her dead boyfriend is harassing her.  Turns out she's a ghost.  She posseses a freezer of frozen meat and attacks David and John.  They try to stop it with a boom box, but it destroys the boom box with a canned ham. At that point what they call the "meatstrosity" starts talking about how they've been after this ghost for so long.  Turns out the ghost has them confused for a TV ghost hunters.  They call said TV ghost hunter so they can talk to the ghost.  After talking on the phone for a minute the meatstrosity explodes.  TV ghost hunter is really good.

Ch 1 pg 23

David Wong is not David wong's real name.   It's a fake name to make him hard to Google.  Same as John.  He's being interviewed by a whacky story reporter.  He convinces him he's the real deal by telling him what he dreamed last night.  He tells him about this all started.  It was at a very lame music festival where John's band was playing.  There was a guy there with magic powers similar to the ones David now has.  In this story the guy speaks with a Jamaican accent and does the same thing of telling David what he dreamed last night and betting him a beer he can do it. Only it doesnt convince David to play along. It just makes him want to get the hell away from that guy.

David meets up with John later at the bar and Jamaican accent guy is there. David gets the fuck out of there.  He later throws up a centipede and carved into his hand is the phrase you owe me a beer.

Ch 2 pg 45

John calls David in the middle of the night. He's super crazy high on drugs.  David goes over and "saves" him.  He is planning to take him to the hospital. John talks him out of it.  John is high on a drug the Jamaican accent guy called soy sauce. Jamaican accent guy said his name was Robert Marley. 

Stuff gets crazier when David and John are at a diner and David receives a call from John saying to meet him in Las Vegas.

There is this dog.  It has an address.  They take it to the address.  It's big Jim's house.  Big Jim isn't there.  His sister is and says she thinks Robert Marley killed big Jim.

David takes John and goes to work.  I guess to try to regain some sense of Normalcy. A black bald guy shows up, says he's a detective and they need to go with him.

Ch 3 pg 67

The cops are asking him questions about last night and most everyone involved is dead or missing Jennifer Lopez and big Jim are missing.  That's a good sign cause the alter is dead. Bob marleys real name is Bruce Mathews.  They tell him John died but they're working on making him not dead.  He gets a phone call.  It's John.  He tells him to GTFO!!!!!! And he does.

Ch 4 pg 88

John tells him to go to Bruce Matthew's trailer and he does.  He tells him to specifically not do one thing but gets cut off at a critical time and so David doesn't know what that one thing is.  Bruce's trailer is trippy.  It's got a room painted so if you look it it right it looks like it's outside. Also there's a basement. 

He finds what he's looking for in the freezer.  Frozen wierd black "drug" they're calling soy sauce.  

The detective comes to the trailer and decides he has had enough and burna the trailer with gasoline.  He also shoots david and leaves him for dead.  But the bullet was defective so david isnt dead.  Also a car crashes through the side of the trailer and David gets out and drives the car away.  The car was being driven by big Jim's dog.  The dog is being possesed by John.  John and the rest of the missing people are in an ambulance heading to Las Vegas. So David amd John in the dog body are heading to Las Vegas. 

Ch 5 pg 118

David goes home to shower and change clothes. Justin (who's infested with wierd white not quite bug things) shows up and kicks his ass and throws him and the dog into the back of a truck.  All the other soy sauce people are there.  Big Jim, Jennifer Lopez, John and another guy who's name I forgot.

They are in a booze truck.  They have this plan to make molotov cocktails and throw them at Justin when the truck doors open.  This plan kinda falls apart when he opens the door and Justin just looks like a normal dude.  Jennifer is the only one to throw hers but she misses and everyone else just sorta goes along quietly. 

They're in what I'm gonna call a barn.  Justin plops some sludge on the ground and tells the guy who's name I don't remember to pee on it.  It turns into a monster.

There's a FedEx package that John sent himself.  It has a note that says to get the thing from under the bush.  Justin goes to investigate. There's nothing under the bush.  What there is out there is the detective who shoots Justin a bunch with a shotgun.  Justin drives away in the booze truck.  Everyone else crams into the detective's SUV and they know from psychic powers to head to the luxor in Las Vegas.  They start heading that way until the detective starts talking about the voices and his eyes explode and a bunch of the evil white not bug things that are controlling Justin come out.  

That should be scary enough because it seems like they're all gonna get turned into whatever Justin is.  But it's worse than that cause David tries to grab the steering wheel and doesn't quite manage it and the car drives off the road and flips over.  So we will see if anyone is alive to get infected by evil white not quite bug things.