gratitude 20200928

I can breathe the air

I contributed to society by paying my taxes

My company is investing in me with training

I have lots of podcasts I can listen to

Forsted oat flakes

I expect to wake up without a headache tomorrow

Clear drinking water

My mom loves me

gratitude list 20200922

I can breath the air

I do not have children

I can turn on my TV by talking to my Alexa

I can buy more cheese sticks and try again tomorrow

I can stir the pot stickers next time and they will be better

I live in a place that isn't as full of obviously racist people.  I mean, Portland is VERY racist.  They flooded out Van port, it's been alarmingly recent that laws blocking Black people from buying houses have changed, the police brutality against minorities is HUGE per capita.  But in general even the truly racist people that live here try to keep a low profile.

Calibans war ch 28 - end

Ch 28 avasarala pg 305

I find those whole chapter to be very sad.  It's like that part of Hamilton when he's trying to set up the national bank and it's him against the world.  Anyway, we start off with Soren telling Avasarala that he's found evidence that Bobbie is a Martian spy.  That the real Bobbie died on Ganamyde and this Bobbie is a Martian intelligence officer.  He's got all sorts of evidence.  But then he bites his lip and the whole thing becomes an obvious lie to Avasarala.  She's figured out that Soren is working against her.  This kind of bumbs me out cause it takes the drama out of what Bobbie just figured out in the last chapter.  *sigh* She tells Soren to get her some tea.  

She calls Errinwright and he's all "we're sending you to Ganamyde"

Bobbie shows up and tells Avasarala the whole deal.  Avasarala tells her she already knows.  Kinda like how Tesla and Edison both created lightbulbs at around the same time completely independently.  Soren comes back with the tea.  It's very good tea.  Avasarala fires him.  It's just her and Bobbie now.  Bobbie's like, you can't get on the ship to Ganamyde, it's an obvious trap, they're gonna kill you.  At the very least you gotta get Bobbie her Battle Suit.  In that suit, she's a super hero.  Avasarala's got four days to figure something out.

ch 29 holden pg 317

the bomb the monster pulled out of its own body put the ship into a spin and cut off their thrusters.  They gotta do something about the water supply to get them back online.  I do not know how they fixed the ship.  I've re-read this chapter a couple times and I can't find the part where they say they got the thrusters back on line and it stopped spinning.  One second they're talking about shrapnel that bounced around engineering when it could have gone right through the reactor and then it cuts to Jim and Prax in sick bay beds.  Amost talks about how bad life as a prostitute in Baltimore is and Naomi listens.  They just get used up and thrown away.  Amos doesn't want Prax's daughter to get used up and thrown away.  That's why nothing else matters to him until they find Mei.

ch 30 bobbie pg 329

They're on Mao's ship.  None of the communications are secure.  They've trapped Avasarala in this box so they can read all her mail.  Bobbie points out, that's the least of their worries.  They're all likely to get murdered.  They are having dinner or something and Bobbie starts asking Mao what the deal is.  Of course he doesn't answer her.  Gives her the same BS "humanitarian efforts" lies.  Turns out he's not even coming along.  This whole thing just sucks.  Avasarala has a plan.  AT some point she'll ask to dock at some station and the captain will refuse and she'll declare that she's a prisoner and it will be Bobbie's job to take over the ship.  It's a very bad plan.

ch 31 Prax pg 341

They got no leads on Mei.  They go back to Tycho station.  Amos got himself a room, he insists Prax comes along.  Not sure why, Amost heads to the whorehouse right away.  Prax is trying to hire an interstellar investigation type person to find Mei.  He calls his ex wife to see if her and her new husband have some money to put toward the effort.  Prax gets the call from the investigator and the amount they want to help him find Mei is astronomical.  So yeah, things suck.

ch 32 holden pg 351

Holden's making a list of what needs to be fixed on the Roci.  It's completely unnecessary because he knows Sam's coming to fix the hsip and she doesn't need Holden's list.  Holden's procrastinating becuase  what he needs to do is talk to Fred about what happened on Ganamyde.  His plan is bad.  It's pretty much to accuse Fred of being behind it and then shoot Fred if he doesn't buy his story.  Sam and Alex show up to do a once around on the ship.  Alex and Holden have a bit of a heart to heart about the fact that they don't have paychecks or anything.  The four of them are together cause they all believe in the cause.  At this point, they gotta figure out what the cause is and Holden's close to losing it.  

Holden goes to see Fred.  He accuses Fred of realesing the protomolcule to Ganamyde cause it's the last place that's still earth/mars controlled in the belt and if he blows it up then maybe he can have the OPA totally controlling the belt and outer planets.  Fred gets super angry at this.  Fred has done SOOOOOO much for Holden and he comes in accusing him of this BS?  He doesn't dignify him with a response and he's all like, get out, you don't work here no more.  So now Holden is the independent captain of the Rocinate and he's kind of excited about it.

ch 33 prax pg 361

Amos has made steak tacos for breakfast and Prax is all OMG, this must have cost a fortune.  There's a fun talk about how the steak is lab grown and fish are better for eating in zero G for some reason.  Holden comes in and tells them they've all been fired.  Amos tells Holden about the Lunar investigators Prax was trying to hire to find Mei.  Holden's all, whoa doc, we're gonna find your kid.  Prax is like, that's not realistic, I don't have the money to pay to keep the Roci running for a day and I don't have anyone else to ask for money from.  Holden's like, how about we ask everyone?  So they do a go fund me video.  It must have taken all day to make and send and what not cause the next thing we cut to is Prax waking up and Amos telling him they made enough money to keep the Roci running for a month.

But it's even more than that.  The Social media outpouring has been AMAZBALLS.  Mei is now the face of the Ganamyde disaster.  I got a little emotional when I read that.  It's really great.  All these people sending him all these messages about how they lost their loved ones and they're in this with him.  Then he get's a message from a guy that says he recognizes Dr. Strickland, but whne he knew him, he wasn't called Strickland.

ch 34 holden pg 371

I've been spelling Ganymede wrong.  Holden finds Naomi in a bar and they talk and it's good.  They might not have a romantic relationship, but she's definitely still on the crew.  The money keeps rolling in like crazy in the Save Mei fund.  It's up to half a million UN dollars now.  Tons of people sending in supportive messages.  Amos, Prax and Holden watch the video fromt he guy that knew Strickland back in the day.  He knew him from University on Ceres.  He was about to get thrown out for ethical reasons.  But the day before his tribunal or whatever he left syaing he got  a sweet corporate job and he wouldn't have to put up with their small minded BS.  Sounds just like the scientist behind the Eros disaster.  Holden's pretty sure Strickland worked for Protogen and they're behind the whole Ganymede mess.

ch 35 Avasarala pg 381

Avasarala is trying to have conversations with people, but the lag is like 20 seconds so it makes it very hard.  She and Bobbie talk so Avasarala has someone to talk to without lag.  They watch Holden's video.  Avasarala is pissed that Holden talked about the protomolcule being on Ganymede and there's riots on Ganymede in response.  50 dead so far.  Not that it matters, those people were likely to die of starvation or suffociation or sickness or any number of things that happen when you're stuck on a dead moon.  Avasarala talks about her son that died in a skiing accident when he was 15.  She says Bobbie reminds her of her daughter.  She tells a story about how after her brother died she washed dishes for 3 hours while her hands were bleeding.  Yipes.  Things are kinda bleak.

ch 36 Prax pg 393

Crap, I'm all the way up to chapter 39 and I forgot to save.  So the next few of these are gonna be brief and lame.

Prax is happy cause of the money and the messages.  But then he's sad cause he gets hate mail and the reason is that his ex wife posted a video saying Prax had abused her and was physically, emotionally and sexually abusing Mei.

ch 37 Alavasarala pg 403

Avasarala sees the video and knows it's a smear job.  She starts sending videos and messages like crazy.  This really pisses off the Mao's people on the ship and they cut off her communications.  She tells Bobbie it's time for her to take the ship

38 Bobbie pg 413

Bobbie puts on her super suit and goes about taking over the ship.  She has to take the ladder cause they've turned off the lift.  She takes out a half dozen people on one deck.  She finds a lift and takes it up a waze.  She finds the captain and he's pretty amenable to turning over the ship.

ch 39 Holden pg 425

Remember when Alex was like "we don't get pay checks or anything" that one time? Well, Holden wants to do something about it.  He's all like "who are we?" and the punchline is that they're gonna incorperate and declare officially that holden is the captain.  Holden and Naomi are boning again.  And I guess they're just gonna be together now.  At least they're gonna share a bunk.  Holden is woke up by Alex.  There's a message incoming.  It's Avasarala, her face looks wierd cause she's traveling at high G.  I'm excited to hear how that happened.  They just had a conversation about how Mao's ship doesn't go faster than a G.  Six UN ships are heading their way and are planning on destroying them.  She says to head their way and she can protect them.

ch 40 prax pg 435

They're burrin at 6 G and Prax doesn't like it.  His knee hurts like hell.  They stop for dinner and Amos helps him with his knee.  Amos has a toe with a similar habit of hyperextending during high G.  So don't hyper extend it.  Amos asks Prax if any of what His ex is acusing him of is remotely true.  Prax is all, no, not even remotely.  Amos is like, cause guys do things and sometimes they're bad things.  It doesn't make them bad people.  Prax is all, yes it does.  If someone had done what Prax was accused of they would be a bad person.  The sort of person Amos (I keep putting a T on the end of Amos cause I'm so used to typing almost)  would throw out the airlock.  

Avasarala's ship arrives as they're getting ready to hit high G again.  Bobbie is the first to board.  Amos is really not pleased with a giant armored martian marine being on board.  Avasarala arives and tells Naomi she needs help with her hair.  Naomi tells her to fuck off cause she's not a God Damned hair dresser.  Avasarala needs to make a media broadcast and she needs to get appropriately dolled up for it.  Naomi is the only person on the ship remotely likely to be useful in that persuit.  So pretty please, with sugar on it, help me get my fucking hair did for this media broadcast.

ch 41 avasarala pg 447

They do a media blast that's pretty slick.  Naomi plays the part of the reporter as Avasarala is playing the part of someone at a large news conference.  There's stuff about how Prax's ex has mental problems and it was irresponsible of the media to take her raw blah blah blah and declare it to be a story without getting all the info.  They send it out to the solar system.  They have a long talk about what the protomolecule monsters are and how they aren't really under control and they're communicating back to Mars.  Avasarala takes all this data and puts it together into a sort of consumable media packet for Errinwright.  He's not in control of the protomolecule.  Whatever is on Venus is in control and whatever control you think you have you're gonna lose even faster next time because Venus knows everything that all of the other protomolecule monsters went through and as soon as it can, it communcates all that to the next protmolecule monster.  So he needs to stop the whole thing before he gets destroyed by his own project.

The response is that the ships that previusly slowed down to cruising speed had once again jumped into high G to come after them.  Avasarala tells Bobbie that if she wants to say I told you so, now would be the appropriate time.

ch 42 holden 459

Holden wants to do the Holden thing and broadcast everything to everyone.  Avasarala wants to just send it to a few powerful people to turn the political tide against Errinwright and Nguyen.  Holden is like "well, that's too bad, cause I'm the captain and what I say goes." and Amos is like "don't we vote on this sort of thing now?"  And of course they vote for Avasarala's idea cause it seems like that idea might end up with them alive at the end of it.

Avasarala sends the message to a few UN Admirals hoping they'll rise up against Nguyen.  Holden goes a little rogue and sends the message to his mommy.  Holden's got another brilliant idea.  He's gonna put prax and Naomi on the tiny racing ship Avasarala and Bobbie came on and send them to safety while the Roci heads back toward the UN ships to buy them some time.  This suicide mission seems like a bad idea.  Bobbie has an idea...

ch 43 bobbie 469

Her idea is that we try to team up with the Martian ships that are following the six UN ships heading their way.  The pitch is this, these are 6 rogue UN ships trying to kill a high ranking UN diplomat in order to Silence her.  Which is pretty much the truth.  The situation is not ideal, but they make it happen.  The Martian ships are in.  They abandon the whole send a couple people away on the small ship idea.  When the shooting starts it's super fast.  Bobbie is running the guns.  They are able to blow up the incoming missles real good.  But then there's some holes in the ship.  But they're all in vac suits so everyone's ok.  The punchline is that all 6 UN ships end up either destroyed or surrendured.  I love it when a plan comes together.

ch 44 holden 481

It's a real God Damned love fest.  Holden 's all "hey Mars, we used a bunch of bullets and missles, how about you give us some" and the Mars people are like "we'll send it right over." And also he asked for something special for Bobbie.  The Martians are intrigued by Holden's motley crew.  Golden and Amos chitchat and Holden speculates that Alex might have a thing for. Bobbie.  Amos makes the unrelated state ment that he's a talented amature.when it comes to violence.  Bobbie is a pro.  She and Amos aren't even playing the same sport.

Ch 45 Avasarala's pg 489

She's talking to Admiral Souther and he seems to be on her side.  She gets a message from her husband who's also in her side, but a little bummed that she.might die in space and he might never see her again.  She gets a message from Errinwright, who is definitely not on her side.  His message is all threats and Avasarala's thinking that's good for them.  He wouldn't be making threats of he were in control of the situation.   Five hours later there's a broadcast message from the Secretary General, the head of the UN, that feel s kinda wishy washy where he's like, I'm gonna get to the bottom of this. (My fat fingers keep typing thus) if there are people within the U.N. Military going rogue they will be dealt with.  If these rumors are untrue, the.source of.those rumors will be punished.  Avasarala's is super psyched.  She thinks this means Errinwright is done.

Ch 46 Bobbie pg 499

Bobbie is thinking she misses her dad.  None of her.brothers went into the service like her dad so they were close in a way that none of.The rest of the family was.  She's thinking she's never gonna see her dad again because she knows she's gonna have to fight another protomonster and she doesn't love her odds.  She starts wonderimg.why she was.left alive when the rest of her squad and.who knows how many in marines were taken out by the thing.  She figured out its because the thing destabilized and it's self destruct went off.  She watches her suit's video feed a few times and sees that the more damage it took, the more it mutated away from it's original form.  Also that it can run fast in a straight line but was not horizontally agile.  Not that it helps her because her suit has the same.limitations.  

she's kinda got a plan.  Doo enough damage to the monster and hope it's self destruct fires before it kills her.  

she calls her dad and her captain and suddenly feels super tired and crashes.when she wakes up Holden shows her the surprise.  It's a fun for her suit and a lot of explosive rounds.  We will see if its enough.

Ch 47 Holden 509

there's a ton of ships around Io.  This far no shooting.  Nguyen is targeting the Martian ships.The martian ships are targeting Nguyen's ships.  The "good" earth 🌎 ships lead by Admiral Souther are just there so far.  Pray starts to.lose it.  WE GOTTA GO DOWN THERE AND GET MEI!!!!!  Holden kicks him in the stomach and tells Amos to take him to his bunk and sedate him.  Lots of chatter now.  Ok has broadcast that they're gonna fire.their biological weapons at the Martian ships if they don't stand down.  Mars says they're gonna turn Io to glass of they fire a single shot.  Even more fun, there's a broadcast from.The U.N. Demanding Nguyen's immediate surrender.

Ch 48 avasarala pg 519

Io shoots monsters out at the ships.  This somehow went horribly wrong because Nguyen 's ship gets hit.  He's begging for someone to get him off the ship.  I'm pretty sure he's dead because an escape.pod gets launched from his ship and gets blown up.  But that doesn't really help anything because the monster rockets have gone dark and we're pretty sure they're headed to Mars.  They're gonna take the ship down to Io to get Mei.  But Holden's not coming along.  He's going to Nguyen's ship to find the codes to turn the trackers on the monster rockets back on so they can blow the! Up anD save mars.

Ch 49 holden pg 531

Holden goes over to the Agatha King and the first thing he finds is a survivor that hits him with a wrench.  There's vomit zombies like on Eros.  He and the survivor make their way to the CIC to get the codes.  He's shooting zombies all the way.  They get to the CIC and Nguyen is there.  Holden.shoots him in the neck and he dies.    Holden finds the self destruct button.  There's no timer.  It's just a button.  You push it and the ship blows up.  The survivor says he'll stay behind to.push it.  Holden.sends the codes to Admiral Souther.  The Agatha King blows up.

Ch 50 Bobbie 545

They get down to Io and Bobbie sees a protomolecule monster and is like "hold my beer" and shoots it a lot.  She kinda runs around in a square cause the monster can't corner well and it allows.her to.keep her distance and keep shooti mg at it.  Her do a lot of da!age.until the self.destruct goes off.theory kind of works.  The problem is that the monster rips the bomb out.of itself and throw a it at Bobbie.  She's out of comission.  The monster is sniffing around at her  and it's got a brown goo tube I guess to try to turn her into a vomit zombie.  She's able to move her arm just enough to blow the.monster's head off.  

Ch 51 Prax pg 555

Prax and Amos are making their way around the Io base.  Prax is super good at navigating the base.  You lived in one moon base science lab, you can live in all of them.  They find Strickland.  He shoots another science lady and tries to act like he's the victim in all this.  Mei is there and Prax has her and all is well.  He's thinking about shooting him, then turns on his guns safety and says this...

“I don’t need to kill you,” Prax said. “I have my daughter back. Revenge isn’t important to me.”

Amos needs revenge.  He shoots Strickland in the head with his shotgun.  There's a bunch of security guards trying to form a perimeter.  But Amos is alreadY within said perimeter so it's easy for him to blow them up with a grenade.  They've got the kids in air sealed transports.  The transports have 40 minutes of air so they've got no time to.lose getting back to the ship.  They meet Bobbie on the way.  She's fine, but her suit is covered in protomolecule.  So she has to take it.off before getting back on the ship.

Ch 52 Avasarala pg 567

Holden and Prax are talking about how Prax has too much money.  He saved his daughter cause that's what the money was for.  But people are still donating.  This is inconvenient for Avasarala because she wants to put Prax in charge.of the Ganamyde rebuild project.  If he's independently wealthy it's going to be hard to convince him to take.The job.

Mei and Amos are playing around in zero g. Avasarala is like "when you.play catch with a child they shouldn't be the fucking ball" and Amos is like, chill and Mei.is.like "where's my daddy?" Amos is. like, she's cool for.five minutes before.she.needs her dad.  Avasarala tells Bobbie she's gonna end up being in charge of Earth and Bobbie has a job with her if she wants it.  Bobbie says she needs to spend some time with her dad.

Ch 53 Holden pg 577

Holden is on the moon.  He's there with Naomi.  He calls his mom to say he wants the Family to.come up to the moon to meet Naomi, she's a belter.  Holden's mom doesn't love this news.  Beaters can't really hang out on Earth.  So if Holden and Naomi have kids, the y won't ever come down to see their grand parents on earth.  They're all gonna have to hang out on moons and space ships.  

Holden is hanging out in a hallway waiting for someone.  Turns out that someone is Jules Pierre Mao, who's in cuffs being escorted by two YUGE guards.  They have some words.  Avasarala shows up and there are more words.  They're all negative.  The punchline is that Avasarala is in charge of Earth now and with all that power she's gonna make sure Mao spends the rest of his long life in a real bad prison.

Ch 54 Prax pg 585

Prax is at a dinner party everyone we know is there.  It's a divers e group and people seem to be having a good time.  Avasarala just found out about Frwd Johnson blowing up the Io monster rockets with the rockets he stole from Earth and she's not.pleased.  Prax is talking to Bobbie about the Ganamede rebuild.  she's gonna go back to Mars for her brother's wedding.  There's news from Venus.  SOmethi mg big is coming up.  It's a giant space octopus.  Bigger than Ganamyde.  This is very bad.

epilogue Holden pg 593

Holden is watching the Venus footage over and over again and freaking out about it.  Naomi is all, what can you do about it?  His lack of answer is an acknowledgement that he can't do anything.  But that doesn't really help.  Naomi is going to bed.  Holden is super worried, then Miller is there.  "We need to talk."