we are legion (we are bob)

 

ch 1 pg 7

Bob is a rich software guy.  He just signed up to have his head frozen if he dies and he's going to a scifi con in Vegas.  Being rich he's got the VIP package.  But Jenny won't be there.  Jenny also won't be there in the future if his head gets unfrozen.  Part of the appeal as far as Alan is concerned.  Bob is run over by a car and dies.

Ch 2 pg 16

Bob wakes up and at first he thinks he's gone blind cause he can't open his eyes.  But then he thinks really hard about seeing and he can see.  It's 2133 and he's in Portland.  But it's a postapocalyptic Portland so not great.  Also Bob is an AI and due to fundamentalists taking over the government, he's now owned by a company.

Ch 3 pg 25

Bob has peripherals and he knows how to use them.  He's can even control little robots they call roamers.

Ch 4 pg 30

Bob is up for a job against 4 other forwlmerly human brain AIs.  One was lost yesterday.   Bob asks if he could see if he has any living relatives and is told that not only can't he do that, but all information is strictly controlled by the religious government in the future.

Ch 5 pg 32

A government stooge comes to grill Bob to see if he's godly enough.  Then bobdoes a vr thing where he's in control of anything space station.

Ch 6.pg 37

Bob is getting pretty good at controlling robots and what not.  The really religious want to shut down the project.  Which is to send Bob out into space and find a planet to colonize.  Also the one guy that talks to Bob warns of sabotage. 

Ch 7 pg 40

There's a bunch of other countries also working on something like this.  Brazil is the most fun cause they're gonna put missels or whatever on theirs to blow up Europe or religious ship.  On the cover there's a ship shooting at another ship.  I hope it's Brazil destroying jesusland's ship.

Ch 8 pg 45

There is an attack.  Bob is able to help fend it off with his rovers.  His guy is real scared by this cause there's a nuke on the property that the powers that be will set off if they are too frightened of Bob.

Ch 9 pg 51

The guy is named dr landers.  A ministry person comes to tell him he's going to hell for his part in this.  Dr landers is a bit annoyed but in a way that informs us that this sort of thing happens to him all the time and it's just a part of the process.   Also Bob can use his rovers to hear through walls.

Ch 10 pg 54

It's been 4 days since Bob was last online. The server room was destroyed and they only had one replacement server to put an AI in from backup.  So Bob is the winner.  Also we might have to really pick up the pace.  So Bob will get to be on most of the day.  Hopefully he won't lose his mind.

Ch 11 pg 58

There a lady here instead of dr landers.  She watches as Bob has the drones build stuff on an assembly line. When he asks about life in a theocracy she has to take a minute to make sure there isn't some government stooge about to barge in.  Bob really enjoys that his people are watching the watchers.  He asks how they know he'll follow orders after launch.  She explains that is part of his program and that brings up a lot of existential questions. How is he to know why he is doing what he's doing if doing what he's told is part of his programing.

Ch 12 pg 61

Bob is sent up to the space ship and they're getting ready for launch.  Dr landers tells Bob he's disabled all the safeties so Bob should be as much Bob as is possible.  Bob decides to launch early as missiles are being shot at him.  The space station gets blown up and Bob sacrifices a couple mining drones  as missile countermeasures. But he gets away.

Ch 13 pg 68

The Brazilians have launched a probe that most likely has missles to kill bob.  On the bright side it will take a long time to catch bob.  Full on nuclear war is happening back on earth.  Bob figures this is as good a time as any to do some grieving. He cries a bunch and his VR cat tries to comfort him.

Part 2

Ch 14 pg 83

Bob makes it to his destination and starts setting up defenses 

Ch 15 pg 87

Bob makes the best use of his time by setting up booby traps.  There's a hella exciting fight scene and Bob wins.  But hes got what's left of the world possibly coming after him so it's time for him to procreate. 

Ch 16 pg 90

Bob explores the solar system and is disappointed.

Ch 17 pg 98

Bob makes more ships and makes copies of himself to man those ships and much to my delight they all seem to have different goals and personalities. 

Ch 18 pg 108

The clones all picked new names.   The original Bob, milo and Mario all left to other systems.  Bill is staying here.  Riker is going back to earth.

Ch 19 pg 110 Milo 2152

Milo finds a system with a diplanitary body and they both have life.  JACKPOT!!!  This system is these system that star trek said vulcan was in so he names them vulcan and romulus.

Ch 20 pg 117 Bill 2145

Bill made an assistant that named itself Garfield and they get along well enough to get to work on their miles long to do lost.

Ch 21 pg 119 riker 2157

Riker's assistant is named Homer like homer Simpson.  Riker is Hella serious and Homer is not so there's some friction.

It's been 9 years ship time but 26 years earth time.   All the scans seem to indicate that the nuclear war pretty much whipped out humanity.  They investigate the solar system and a decoy they send in is destroyed by Brazilian ships.  The missles are hecka advanced.  Riker and Homer are real surprised by this.  The Brazilian AI seemed 100% military and not engineery at all. 

Best of all, there are four other Brazilian drones slowly heading toward earth.  They're all a day apart and Homer figures out they're all pushing mediorites with China as its intended target.  Seems there's something left down on earth in China and Brazil is gonna put an end to it.

Ch 22 pg 125 Bill 2150

Bill builds 3 new copies.  Goku and Calvin hate each other but are inseparable. Like a sitcom married couple.  Those two get really beefy boy ships loaded for bear and with cloaking devices to investigate alpha centuri.  Faith specifically didn't send Bob there because everyone else had said that's where they were going.  

The third one is named Linus and we don't know where Linus is going.  The thought from Bill is that Linus is just happy to be away from the bickering goku and calvin.

Ch 23 pg 127 Milo 2153

Milo is my favorite.   His vr is him in an airship flying over the French country side.  He decides his work at vulcan and romulus is done.  He's got drones out in the further solarsystem gathering resources assuming eventually people will come here and need those resources. He heads off to investigate the nearest star.

Ch 24 pg 119 riker 2157

Seems most of the chapters now are only 2 pages long.  Not this one.

Riker and homer are able to kill all the Brazilian ships.  Fun bit, they talk to the Brazilian and it's a different guy.  

But now they got another type of problem,  what if there are people still on earth that need to be saved?

Ch 25 pg 143 bill 2152

Bill and Garfield have succeeded in creating subspace communication. 

Ch 26 pg 145 riker 2157

There's people still on earth.  They wanna gtfo.  Riker says he's happy to help, but he doesn't have a destination for them.  It'll take a while to build a ship for the people to leave and find a way to get them to the ship without all dying of radiation poisoning.  So the destination can be added to the to do list after that. 

Ch 27 bob 2165

Bob gets to his solar system and doesn't give a fuck about resources or procreation or any of the shit guppy cares about.  He goes straight to the planet that is most likely to have life and discovers intelligent pig/bat/spider people.

Ch 28 calvin 2163

I guess in the calvin goku duo calvin is the big spoon. No, I was wrong about that. Goku isn't here.  They split up.  Goku went to alpha centuri A and calvin is in alpha centuri b.  Nothing cool here.  Calvin meets up with goku at a half way point.  There's Brazilians in them thar alpha centuri A asteroids.  They destroy most of them.  One got away.  Looks to goku like the original Brazilian set up manufacturing and moved along.  They're gonna start building duplicates assuming the Brazilian might Come back and possibly have a l9t of missles. 

Ch 29 pg 162 Riker 2157

The theory of saving humanity is better than the practice of actually having to deal with the humans you're saving.

Ch 30 pg 166 Bob 2166

He finds a single bat/pig/spider kid that is developing tools when nobody else is.  He names him archimidis. Also, Bob makes a few more bobs to monitor the bat/pig/spiders that he is calling Deltans.

Ch 31 riker 2152

Saving humanity continues to be a pain in the ass.  Also, there's 15 million people.  A ship can hold 10,000 max.  So we need 15,000 ships.  Thus far we've identified enough materials for 4.

Ch 32 pg 174 2158 bill

Bills transmission with the plans to make a subspace communicator will take 9 years to get to earth.  I guess Milo is closer than earth cause he communicates back to Bob that he's discovered vulcan and romulus. 

Ch 33 riker march 2158 sol

Saving humanity is still a pain.  But See Germans have a seed vault that will be useful for colinization.

Ch 34 homer 2158

Not only is saving humanity tough, but homer sees how badly riker is doing as their mouthpiece. 

Ch 35 Bob 2165

The deltans are being hunted by gorillas.    Bob and his copies are debating whether or not to intervene.  Bob feels like it goes without saying and others don't feel so strongly about the deltans.  How bob ends up violating the prime directive is that he has a bunch of robots gather up flint and deliver it to archemides and the end of it.is that the deltans are able to defend themselves from the gorillas.

Ch 36 Riker 2158

Saving humanity continues to be a pain.

Ch 37 Bob 2165

Bob interferes more in the natural order of the planet he has invaded.

Ch 38 Riker

Riker is introduced to one of his dependents.  So now he's probably gonna give preferential treatment to faith.  I don't know why but this reminds me of the scene in season 3 episode 1 of Rick and morrt when Rick is holding summer hostage and Rick says something like "we have infinite grand daughters.  Holding her hostage is like trying to use Disney bucks at a ceasers palace." If 8 were Riker is would start sending kill bots to assassinate all of the faith leaders.

Ch 39 Bob 2165

We're just bouncing back and forth between Bob and Riker here.

In the latest attack 40 people died.

Ch 40 Linus 2165

Linus finds the Australian probe.  It's AI has gone crazy.  He helps it regain sanity by building a VR for it where its a sailor and it pooos and peeeeeees. 

Ch 41 riker 2162

Riker receives the plans for the subspace communication. They find out about vulcan.  It doesn't makes saving humanity any less of a pain in the ass. 

42 bill 

He's working on getting ice from the asteroid belt to the planet.  Garfield is sick of being just an assistant, 

43 riker

I haven't read anything and I guarantee I'm gonna type some form of saving humanity is a pain in the ass.  I would probably also say that riker is bad at it and anything good that happens is because of homer working back channels. 

They habe also started pulling materials from earth's surface so they might be able to build enough ships for everyone.  But they are not going to be able to do that before everyone dies.

44 Bob 2166

Bob sends a drone down to talk to archimedes.   He tells him they gotta move to a more defensible position. 

45 Bill 2165

Bill calls who he thinks is goku and calvin but instead gets bart and now all the bobs seem to have the ability to communicate instantly 

46 milo 2165

Let's see if milo is still my favorite. 

Milo f8nds himself in a system with what we're assuming is the Brazilian probe and it shoots a lot of missles at him.  I assume he is dead.

47 riker 2166

Terrorists have succeeded in destroying a lot of food and fuel and what not that people need to survive. But nobody is willing to help anyone else.  

Arthur died. He was blown up by a nuke.  They say it's a boobytrap but knowing abput milo it wouldn't surprise me one bit if thos was Brazilian. 

48 Bob 2166

The deltans are on the move.  They.lose one juvenile from a gorillas attack but Bob convinces other deltans to join them.  They make it through the mountain pass and then there's a fore to as of yet not described disaster. 

49 riker 2166

Homer rules, he comes up with the idea ro use space stations as farms rather than a place for people to live.  As a result, faith offers up current supplies for a spot on the third ship.

New Zealand is trying to hack riker.  Hwy and how?  Because Australia is who came up with the original plans for what eventually became Bob and faith stole those plans.

50 Bob 2166

Disaster. Sooo many more gorillas on this side of the pass.  Bob is starting to get desperate with this whole situation. He is gonna start building explosives.

51 bill 2174

Bill gets the message from milo about the promise of his system and subsequent demise.  Bill is gonna make 4 bobs and send them to take out the Brazilian. 

52 riker 2168

Homer's space farm is going well.

53 Bob 2166

There's also jaguars that like to eat the deltans. 

54 Riker 2170

Ships 1 and 2 are ready.

55 Bob 2166

This place Bob led the deltans to has lots of flint, but many more gorillas.  The deltans won't survive without bobs protection. They build an alter to Bob. 

56 bill 2167

Taking ice asteroids and turning them into water on the planet is tricky.  

56 Mario 2169

Mario finds a system that had already been stripmined.  The theory is that very dangerous aliens did this.

57 Riker 2171

Ships launch with people on them to the new world.  It's real emotional. 

58 bill 2172

The bobs have their first full meeting in the bobiverse that bill has created in VR.  His solar system ain't gonna be great for people, but it's got plenty of materials for Bob clones and whatnot.

60 khan 2185

8 bobs are attacking the Brazilian system.  It's rough.  There's nukes and light sabers and really effective cloaking devices and stuff.  Only one Bob ship makes it out.

61 Howard 2188

The first colony ship makes it to vulcan safe and sound...

...for now.

all systems red

Ch 1

Yhe narrator is a murder bot and it's on a planet with some scientists.  Two of the scientists are attacked by a monstrous animal.  The murderbot saves them.  It is harmed pretty significantly and if it were a person it would be dead.  It might be a Borg kinda thing as it has biological matter and it will take 8 hours to heal.  Also its regulator has been damaged which I interpret as meaning it won't follow orders anymore. 

Ch 2 pg 25

Murderbot is awkward around people.  It mostly spends it's time watching TV and double checking supplies and surveys and whatnot.  It also spends all of it's time with armor on, which is why after its healed and is summoned and realized its armor needed to be repaired the crew is like, "who the fuck are you?" And it says its their secbot. They ask it why the monster wasn't in their survey pack.  It is able to realize that it was hacked and removed.  Probably before it was sent to them.  The murderbot doesn't have any sex organs.   The main purpose of the murderbot is for the insurance company to keep an eye on people and that makes the murderbot feel bad so it spends as much ch time away from people as it can.  But its required to be close to a member of the crew at all times or it will be deemed a deserter and destroyed remotely.   So when the crew calls to say they are going on a trip and murderbot says it should come along.

Ch 3 pg 39

The trip is to map out some sections of the planet that seem to have gone missing from the survey materials like the monster.  But what they find is that area has a lot of interference with their instruments so maybe it's just standard incompetence or laziness or what have you instead of them trying to hide something crappy for sales purposes as we expect happened with the monster.  Fun tidbit, murderbot was expecting to ride in the cargo hold, but instead the crew made them ride in the cabin and it was HORRIBLE!!!

Something worse is discovered on the trip.  There's a different company doing similar stuff on the other side of the planet and they have stopped returning communications.  Murderbot is pretty sure they're dead, but still talks their way into getting to go on the much longer trip to investigate. The murderbot seems to be programmed without any sense of self preservation. 

Ch 4

They get to the other camp and there's no activity. They go inside and find dead people.  I'm not sure exactly how but somehow murderbot figures out that this is the work of other murderbots.  Something about this and the realization that those murderbots might try to kill their people really pisses them off.  At this point i got real protective mom energy from our murderbot.  If you're familiar with the last Harry potter movie I'm specifically thinking of the not my daughter you witch spell that Molly Weasley uses to kill Bellatrix Lastrange.

They find a dead murderbot and based on the size of this camp they figure they have two other murderbots to deal with. 

And they do.  But then there are other murderbots that show up.  The team does their best to handle them and they all get away alive.  That is until murderbot realizes the offending murderbots had remote control implants and that in the fight one of the offending murderbots also fitted them with one.  They figure the remote controller will use them to kill their people.  So the murderbot commits suicide. 

Ch 5

Murderbot is unsuccessful in its suicide attempt. It tells us it wasn't a fur real suicide attempt. It was meant to incapacitated itself while the

e people figured something out.  And they did.  They figure out some one is coming and they gotta go and they do.

Ch 6 pg 101

Turns out one of the people here is basically the president of their planet. If the bad guys knew this they never would have tried this kind of stunt.  THE COMPANY would stop at nothing to apprehend someone that killed a head of state.  More importantly,  someone that caused them to pay out such a huge insurance settlement.  But they don't know anything about the bad guys. Murderbot might have a solution for that.  He left some drones recording audio and video back at the base.

Ch 7

They go back to their old camp to pick up the footage that the drones recorded.  Fun bit, the bad guys are on camera saying we know you must be recording, meet us at these coordinates at this time to talk.

They come up with a plan.  The murderbot and the president go to the meeting while the augmented human sneaks to their camp to.launch their beacon. They talk woth the bad guys about how their whole deal is that this planet used to be populated and you're not allowed to stripmine a formerly occupied planet.  But oooh eeeeh, if you could get away with it, you could make TONS of money.

Problem is, the bad guys make the president and murderbot come with. But the beacon launch is successful and murderbot grabs the president and jumps off a cliff so they're not incinerated by the beacon's launching rocket.

Murderbot comes to and it appears that their planet was a success as they are now in the big hopper being picked up by a transport.

And murderbot is probably right cause we only have 8 pages left.  Not enough time for a sinister surprise imho.

Ch 8 pg 141

The people buy murderbot so it's free to come to their planet and do whatever it wants there.  It will live with the president. This is a great kindness to a being that everyone else considers to be property.

.

Murderbot rewards their kindness by hopping a ship out of there never to be seen again. What a dick.

the mercy of gods

Ch 1 pg 3 David

There's a scholarship named Dafyd.  I'm calling him David from now on.  David likes a girl named Else who's boyfriend Tonnner is in charge of the project David works on.  But it's not like David is trying to get his boss's girlfriend cause David's Aunt is the HBIC in terms of who gets funding so David would be on whatever project she tells people he should be on.  David has a sort of go along get along attitude and likes to put people at ease.  But it's about God Damned time that he grew the duck up and started living up to his potential rather than spending all his time worrying that he wasn't making other people's lives easier.  His first step in doing so is staying at this work party and networking instead of going home like he wants to.  He heard a rumour that someone is trying to take over their department and he talks to Else about it.

Ch 2 pg 16 Jessyn

Jessyn is on David's team.   I gather she's an older lady.  They don't give ages but from the conversation it seems she's older than irynna and a guy named Nol is too.

Humans came to this planet 3000ish years ago through the ring gates.  But they don't know that.  What they know is the human biology and the native biology don't mix.  That is until now when their team cracked the code.

They're celebrating this achievement. Jessyn isn't anymore cause she's got am angry email from Tonner that just says we need to talk tomorrow.  There is a special place in hell for people like Tonner.

Ch 3 pg 23

Someone higher up has declared that the team is going to be split up.   Sounds to me like David should  have a talk with his aunt to see what she knows. Toner is convinced they have been betrayed.  

That's meaningless.  What matters is the girl listening in on their conversation while eating a sandwich.  She's been possessed by something she calls the swarm.  It's going to use her and then kill her and move onto another host.  This feels like the protomolecule alien magic.

Ch 4 pg 33

The betrayer is named Rickar.  Autocorrect will be referring to him as Richard if he's a going concern.  

Tonner feels bad.  Mostly cause he feels embarrassed. 

Ch 5 pg 42

The swarm has moved onto a new host and finds it still enjoys sweet pickles the way it's old host did.  As its host it introduces itself to someone named samar austad.

Some of the people on David's team talk about their meaningless lives.  It becomes meaningful when someone tells them that Samar Austad has been murdered.  Probably by whoever the swarm is currently inhabiting. 

Ch 6 pg 52

Samar was in charge of the group Richard was going to. So they don't really have to worry about their group getting broken up.  But they're also murder suspects. 

Also, that's additionally, more meaningless than I previously thought cause not only is the swarm a thing but there's things in space heading to their planet.  Probably space ships.

Part 2: catastrophe pg 71

It's an excerpt from a log where the writer says basically that the universe is cold and unfeeling so it's ok for them to be the same.

Ch 7 pg 73

This chapter is heckin fun.  It describes the invasion from the invaders side of things.  How they observe that we communicate with only a limited sonic and light spectrum. They are a hivemind and so they are interested in how we of the same species are not connected and how different people in different places are kind of doing the same stuff even though we are separated. 

The fun part is they've discovered another significant species. The way they describe it as mostly existing underground it's like an intelligent fungus.  I'm guessing this is what the swarm is.  The invaders aren't going to worry about them.

Makes me kind of excited about the idea of people and the swarm working together to defend their planet.

With the amount of communication the planet is sending to the invaders they kind of expect to be attacked by spaceships as they kinda figured out the people must have arrived here on spaceships. But no,  there aren't any space ships to attack them.  

But the people do shoot some nukes at them.  These are easily dealt with by the probes and don't make it anywhere near the ships.

Ch 8 pg 81

The invaders are like mini Thanos and say they'll only kill 1/8th of the population. We see one of the resesrch assistants on David's team die.  He describes it as being stung by a bee.

Ch 9

David is taken to be Corraled with other scientists after successfully hiding out for 5 days.  He meets one of the other lab assistants on his old project there.  Alien life exists and they are assholes.

Ch 10

David is caged up with a veritable who's who of the planet. They might be on a spaceship. The swarm is there and calls the invaders they great enemy. 

Ch 11

A group decides to fight the aliens.  It kinda works.  They successfully overpower one.  But then as it is nearing the end it kinda explodes poison on everyone nearby.  David is near by and has all his clothes melted off by the acid spray and has to be nursed back to health.

Ch 12 pg 131

They appear to be nearing the end of their spaceship journey.

The only interesting thing that happens is that Tonner is there and Else tells him she will be staying in her own room and he's all butt hurt about it. 

I view this as a win for David.

Part three puzzles pg 147

War is the way for the CarryX.  It doesn't matter if its unethical. To not be at war would be denying the truth of all life.

Ch 13 pg 149

The concuring aliens have brought the resesrch team back together.  The aliens want them to do what they did on their planet with making it possible for the people to eat the native planets vegitation but with spieces from two other planets.  Tonner tells the guy that betrayed them back home to fuck off and die.

Ch 14 161

The concuring aliens are trying to concur a new planet.  It goes badly.  They're basically killed by what I would describe as space zombies.  But when you're a small part of a hive mind it's no big deal.  You run away with the data you have so you can come back and win the next fight.

Ch 15 pg 172

Jessyn is a bit traumatized so she is just kinda running on autopilot.  Going though the motions when she really wants to lose her shit.  Compared loses his shit.  But it all rounds out and everyone goes back to doing science.

Ch 16 pg 184

In this chapter it struck me that this place is kinda like the prison in season 3 episode 1 of Rick and morrty where it wasn't just a prison, it was also a highly defended important government building.  This place isn't just a prison, it's also a highly important government research facility. 

David works on overcoming the fear of this place as a prison and focusing on getting what he needs for research.  It takes him 8 hours, but he's able to procure pens and paper.

Ch 17 pg 196

blood mirror ch 55 to the end.

Ch 55

Kip and his mind controlled animals are trying to steal some gunpowder.  It's a trap.  But they ( at least kip and the grizzly bear) make it out alive.  But if Karris's brother knows enough to set a trap it means kips whole sabotage thing isnt gonna work anymore.  They're gonna have to do war war now.

Ch 56

Teia has a chapter.  I didn't think anything interesting happened.  She still hasn't murdered anyone.

Ch 57

Gavin is still in prison and has a bad dream.

Ch 58

Teia does her murder

Ch 59

Kip us preparing for war.  Conn Arthur is the guy that can control a grizzly bear.  The dramatic reveal is he has a brother that can also do that.  He died and his grizzly bear is kinda running amuck. Kip has a two birds one stone idea to send him on a suicide mission.  Conn Arthur agrees to this.  Kip can't sleep but he can lie upon his wife's bussom and wait for the day to come.

Ch 60

Tiea is doing other stuff sneaking around after her murder.  She's killed the lady thats officially in charge but then she sneaks into the room of the magic lady thats really in charge and she's got ironfist chained to a wall.

Ch 61 pg 455

Gavin is in a black luxin cell.  He has a new imaginary fr8end that might be real.  This one isn't here to torture him.  It's here to comfort him.  Cause this is the last cell.  It's not meant to be escaped from to the next one.  This is it.  Gavin is fully trapped for good.  He's gonna die down here.

Ch 62

Teia kills ironfists sister even though he begs her not to.

Ch 63 pg 477

Liv"s dad's wife is gonna be assassinated tonight and she knows it and that's that.

Ch 64 pg 483

Kip does war.  He's outnumbered 2 to 1 but he wins cause that's what's in the script.  Funny part happens when a blue wight challenges him to a dual and kip just shoots him Indiana Jones style.

Ch 65 

Kip's grandfather has come to tell Gavin that it's time for him to die.  The imaginary friend is telling Gavin nows his chance to escape.  But he doesn't wanna kill anyone woth black luz8n cause it makes you forget.  Lots of fun reveals here.

1. Kips grandfather isn't his grandfather,  he's his dad.  We have a nice setup for an im your father scene if they wanna do that.

2. Dazen was Kip's grandfather's favorite son.  He didn't make him prism because prisms usually die in 7 years.

3. The whole plan with the war and everything was for Gavin to stab dazen with the blinding knife to take away his powers so they can restore him to sanity.

Kip's grandfather leaves Gavin down in the prison.  Presumably to kill him with poison later.

Ch 66 pg 511

Kip is doing after battle clean up.  There's lots of drama.

Ch 67 pg 521

Karris and teia talk about ironfist and the guy that requested teia be put on the mission.   Shit is all fucked up.

Ch 68

The guy that can control a bear has lost his will to fight. Maybe his will to live.  it's sad.  And there's infighting in kips army.

Ch 69

Gavin is talking to himself.  Or maybe it's a shadow of his former self or his brother's ghost or God.  And then Grinwoody shows up.  I'm personally hopeful that this is good since he's the head of the broken eye and ironfist's uncle.  But Gaven only knows him as kip's grandfather's (and actually kips dad) stooge.

Ch 70

Kip and the mighty argue about ethics until they get to wherever they're going and then kip gets on a horse to present himself to where ever it is they are.

Ch 71 pg 541

Karris and kips grandpa ( really his dad) talk about the women teia killed.  The part that's interesting to me is that as a result of those assassinations, Ironfist is now king of that country.

72 pg 551

Kip takes over a city.  There's a lot of wealth redistribution thats going to happen in this town now that kip is in charge.  Also he's redoing the rules for slavery.

73 pg 563

Grindilow and Dazen talk about their feelings. Grinwoody feels like Dazen should kill God.  Dazen feels like that's impossible. But it's better than dying down here so he will try.  Grinwoody gives dazen a magical eyepatch with black luxin that will kill him if he does anything against him of the order of the eye.

These Dazen chapters aren't long enough. 

74 pg 569

Kip has been working on this magical rope spear this whole time.  Cruxer and big Leo inform him that this is a betrayal of his wife.  This rope spear project is obviously a subconscious manifestation of his love for Teia. He needs to cut that shit out and pledge himself wholey to Tsisisis. 

 75 pg 375

Teia goes to the mirror room in the crimeria for a meeting with murder sharp.  I guess sharp is a title within the order and the goal here is for Teia to become a sharp.  After murder sharp doing his usual thing of saying a bunch of intimidating stuff the old man shows up.  There's talk about all sorts of stuff but in the end she has one last task to become a sharp.    She has to take a special black knife and kill Gunner with it.

76 585

Fun stuff with Gavin, the boat that's gonna take him to kill God is Gunner's  boat.  Tiea is gonna be on that boat.  I LOVE THIS!!!!1!!!!

Ch 77 pg 583

A black guard named after Gavin broke the halo and demands karris do the freeing because her son is a monster.  Now here's hoping karris kills zymon.

Ch 78 pg 599

Liv has grown into her godly powers in the year she has had it.  She is drawn to the other gods and their banes.  Karris's brother has a bane and a god of all colors. They're gonna ascend and attack the chromeria directly. Liv now has a can't beT em join em attitude to the war and Karris's brother can't be beaten with what he's got.

Ch 79device.

Kip and his wife have sex.

Authors note : 615

 vaginismus is real and its affected.bremts fridms.  It's not just some plot decice.

Last pocket camp 5 differences

It's all over yo

the book of elsewhere

Ch 1 prologue

There's a group of armed men.  They get blown up by a suicide bomber.

Only named character is ulafson.

There's a shadowy figure that's watching all this.  He's so tired.

Ch 2 the doctors story pg 8

The doctor is dying.  Saddest part is his medicine smells so bad his dog won't go near him.  He reminisces about an old patient he had.  Doctor is a psychiatrist. The patient was a soldier and described killing and being killed and coming back and doing it all over again.

Wonder if this is ulafson.

Ch 3 signs of life pg 11

Two characters investigating the sight of a violent scene where a bunch of people died in the hidden back rooms of a machine shop.

Characters are named B and keever.  B is the main character and mentions Ulafson in his internal monologue.

In talking about the scene there's a report from above that there are life signs.  B starts digging through The bodies and tries to find the live people.  Keever tells b the whole site is unstable and they should gtfo and specifically uses the phrase "some of us can die" which makes me think b is like the doctors patient that I think is Olafson in that he can be brought back after dying and keever is not.

They find the alive guy.  His name is Thakka.  When they try to get him to talk, he only talks about his dog.

Ch 4 water ph 23

This is fun backstory about our immortal friend.  He's born, he's Hella violent until he dies.  Then he's born again.  You know how Davy crocket killed a bear when he was 3?  This guy did it before he was 1.he killed a leviathan.  Then the crew of that ship abandoned him.  He killed an entire city.  When he comes back this time he's hatched from an egg underwater and has to swim to the surface. 

This imortal warrior is named Unute.

Ch 5 new dark pg 34

B is Unute.  Something about this whole thakka situation has upset him and he has gone awol.  This is not new.  He does this.  The government is OK with it.  When you've got an immortal warrior on your side you let things slide.

Another fun thing about the Thakka situation is that technically he was dead before B went down there and then he came back to life.  Maybe immortality is infectious.

B comes back with some dead thing with hooves.

the southern book club's guide to slaying vampires.

Prologue to ch 11

Authors note.  Pg 8

This author also wrote my best friends exorcism. That book is about children.  This book is about grown ass adults.  This I Dracula vs your mom.  Spoiler alert, Dracula doesn't stand a chance.

Prologue pg 10

Blood.  This book ends in it.  All of life starts with it.  All vampire books have blood.  As an added bonus this book also has an unremarkable group of house wives.  House wives that are gonna kill vampire(s). 

Ch1 pg 14

Patricia Campbell is part of a monthly book  club. I get the impression that it's big.  One person talks about the book while everyone else is just the audience. Today she's the talker .  90 minutes to book club and she hasn't read the book.  

Marjorie is the dictator of book club.  She has a fake democratic process by which she claims to have never heard of any book anyone else suggests and she presents 13 books she likes to vote on.

Patricia goes to book club even though she didn't red

Patricia ad the book.  She tries to make some stuff up but Marjorie sees through it pretty quickly. But it turns out nobody read the book.

While leaving kitty shrugs invites her to a true crime book club.

Ch 2 pg 24

Kitty stops by Patricia's house and there's a thing with Patricia's daughter and it shows us that kitty is cool.  So Patricia reads the book she didnt want to in three days and goes to kitty's book club.

It's fun, they're having fun.  Even though some of them have to lie to their shitty husband's.

Patricia's mother in law comes to live with them and it sucks.  But the troops rally and it's not so bad.

Ch 3 pg 40

They chitchat about the neighborhood. The most interesting part is there's a creepy van.

Ch 4 pg 48

Patriis attacked by old mrs savage taking out the trash.

Ch 5 pg 56

People in a small town talk a lot and fast.  Who needs the news when you've got a small town gossip.  The lady that bit off Patricia`s ear, she died.

Ch 6 pg 64

Patricia goes to the lady that bit her ear off's house to bring her nephew a casserole.   She finds him in his bedroom just lying there.  Yes not breathing.  She does CPR, she used to be a nurse.  He gets up and says GTFO.  She does.  He must be a vampire. 

Ch 7 pg 70

The vampire brings back Patricia's dish.  Mom calls him hoyt cause I guess that's the name he used when he was a vampire back in her day.

Ch 8

Patricia is helping vampire do all sorts of things like pay his water bill and change it to his name and open a bank account and she tells him about book club.

Ch 9 pg 94

Vampire comes to book club at Patricia's house and mom calls him hoyt again.  

Ch 10 pg 104

The vsmpire tries to kill mom but it doesn't work out 

Ch 11

Mom tells Patricia the story of hoyt pickens.  She starts by saying he killed her daddy.  He came down from the north and convinced her dad to invest more in his moonshine side hustle.  Also around the time kids go missing.  Hoyt pickens blames a black man and they bury him alive under the peach tree.  Then Hoyt disappears and every thing goes bad.

Ch 12

.Patricia goes to a party.

The vampire attacks mom with rats.

It's truly horrifying.

Also if you see her son, punch him in the face.

Ch 13 pg 133

Patricia and kitty go visit miss green. Fun revelation here i. The black town.  Kids are disappearing.  So thats who the vampire is eating.

Ch 14 pg 145

More details about the kids the vampire is feeding off of.

Vampire drives a white van.

Ch 15 pg 151

Revelation,  the black lady that is missing was the cleaning lady that Patricia saw at the vampires house. She calls ms green to ask if she'd be willing to talk to the lady's mom with her.  Ms green doesn't care for that lady.  But Sue's willing to do it if Patricia comes over right now.

Ch 16 pg 161

They go to a lady's house and her daughter is missing.  Patricia tells her to call the p9lice and to tell them she was taken by the vampire who is a drug dealer.  The lady kinda does that in that she calls the cops and says her daughter is missing. 

Ch 17 pg 168

Patricia goes looking for the girl and vampire in the woods.  She finds the vampire's van and she finds the vampire doing vampire shit to the girl.  She runs away and stumbles into the police.  She takes the police to the van but nobody is there.  They go back to the lady's trailer and the daughter is back in her room.

Patricia's husband shows up and they go home.

Ch 18 pg 179

The girl the vampire was feeding on was taken away by child protection services.  It sucks and Patricia's husband isn't willing to do anything to help.  Even though it was his mother Ms green was protecting from the eats the vampire sent.

The vampire comes over and they have cookies and Patricia apologizes for ratting him out to the cops.

Ch 19 pg 191

Patricia tells book club that the vampire is a drug dealer.  At first nobody wants to hear it.  But then kitty and others back her up.  Grace is 100% against this.

Grace calls Patricia to tell her she found where the vampire is stashing his van.  Book club is working to take down the vampire they think is a drug dealer.

Ch 20 pg 202

Patricia claims to be having book club and tries to get rid of her family.  But her daughter bails on her sleep over and ruins everything.   But she tells her to stay in her room.  Why?  Because some book club people are coming over but also cops are coming over so they can talk to them about the vampire. 

Also, Patricia's husband that was supposed to do dinner and a movie with their son comes home.

Ch 21 pg 207

It's not just Carter it's all their shitty unsupportive husbands.  They're all cozy with the vampire because he's invested money with them.  And their shitty.husbands not only don't support them but they've brought the vampire abd they make them apologize and he forces himself into their bookclub full time.

Ch 22 pg 219

Patricia goes to Grace's house and tells at her.  Ms green is working for uer now. 

Patricia goes home and drinks a bottle of prozak.

Ch 23 pg 230

Patricia wakes up in the hospital. Her.kids hate her cause of the suicide attempt and her husband because he isn't getting the promotion he wants.

Three years later...

Ch 24 pg 240

We're living in a post-apocalyptic book club.  The men are in it and they read the sorts of books that dads read.  The vampire is thoroughly entrenched in everything. They listen to rush limbaugh on the radio and read James Patterson books.  So gross.

Ch 25 pg 250

Their little nazi kid throws a fit and runs away to the vampire's house.

Ch 26 pg 260

Patricia has a visit from her mother in law's ghost and it tells her to go to Ursula green.  She has an old picture of the vampire. 

.

Ch 27 pg 266

Patricia goes to ms green and sees the picture and its absolutely the vampire. 

Ch 28 ch 275

Patricia goes to slick to show her the photo.

Fun thing, slick is having am anti Halloween party to praise the lord.  Its gonna be Martin Luther themed.

We get a little more back story on mom, she lived upstate. So vampire didn't come back to the scene of the crime.  Mom just was in the wrong place sat the wrong time and that's why he killed her with rats.

Ms green also gave Patricia other evidence.  Patricia tells slick the plan is ms green is gonna clean the vampires house while the men are all away.  Patricia is gonna go through his house to find definite evidence. 

Like a real moron, she leaves all the evidence with Slick.

Ch 29 pg 282

Patricia goes to jmthe vampires house while Ms green is cleaning it and goes into the attick and finds the dead body of Francine in a suitcase.

Problem, the Vampire has come home early.

Ch 30 pg 292

The cleaning ladies leave and in an amazing display of grit and determination Patricia hides in the attic under old boxes and blankets and what not while all sorts of vermine that live there crawl all over her.  She eventually can't stand it and gets out from under but by then vampire has stopped looking for her.  She just sorta waits and listens for 7 hours hoping he'll leave and she can escape. 

She pieces together that slick must have ratted her out.

 Eventually she hears the attic door open again and she expects doom.

Ch 31 pg 300

It's not doom.  It's kitty.

This chapter is tense.  The reason vampire left is the housing development everyone is investing in is on fire.  Ms green set that fire and called kitty to save Patricia. Kitty wants to gtfo but Patricia has shit to do.  First she has to show kitty Francines body.  Then she's gotta clean up after herself so vampire doesn't have definite proof she was up in the attic. They're about to leave and Patricia decides she's gotta go back up until the attic to get Francine 's drivers license.  They slip out the back just as vampire comes home.

Ch 32 pg 306

Patricia has a plan.  She's gonna slip francine's id into vampires wallet and then call the cops and tell them while drunk he told her he killed Francine and stuffed her in a suitcase in his attic and showed her the id.  

But before that it's Halloween.  This book is set in the 90s and one popular costume that year was the teenage mutant ninja turtles.  Did you know that the teenage mutant ninja turtles are not historical lyrics accurately named.  If they were it would be more like this...

Donatello leads,  Leonardo does machines.  Michaelangelo is cool but rude.  Eric Botteron is a party dude.

Slick calls.  She just keeps saying "I didn't make a sound"  Patricia helps her strip and get into the shower. there's some sort of black goo coming out of her vagina.   She says,  if he did this to me,  imagine what he's going to do to you.

Ch 33 pg 316

Slick didn't rat out Patricia. What she did was call vampire and threaten to expose him.  That's why vampire came home early but didn't confront Patricia directly. He suspects she was snooping but because she cleaned up her tracks her doesn't really know what happened. 

Why is slick basically nonresponsive and disheveled?  Because the vampire raped her and said if she made a sound he would kill her family. 

Patricia goes home.  Her son says he's been at the vampires house since 7:30 and he was there the whole time.

Ch 34

Slick is in the hospital. Everyone goes to  visit, which includes vampire. Patricia ak

Sks vampire for a ride home.  She leaves franxones id in his car.

Later that night Patricia finds vampire feeding on her daughter.

Ch 35

Vampire calls to tell Patricia that it's all good and he's not a vampire and her daughter likes it.

Patricia calls ms green and invites her to book club.

Ch 36

Everyone in the book club except for grace is in to do something about the vampire. Looking forward to seeing what that is.

Ch 37

Patricia gives herself to the vampire. She says to buy her children more time.  Vampire is gonna kill her husband and take his place.  But for now they get naked and he feeds on her.  It starts with the worst pain and goes to her greatest pleasure. 

Ch 38

Patricia unlocked vampires front door before the feeding.  Kitty Mary Ellen and Mrs green attack vampire with a baseball bat, knife and hammer respectively. Kitty is the one that does all the damage.  Mary Ellen is completely useless and while mrs green tries, she doesn't accomplish much.  Theyve got him on the floor with a knife through his spine.  Now they need a cooler for some reason.

Ch 39

Due to the knife in his spine vampire can't really move.  But he can talk a lot.  Begging for his life and promising favors and swearing his kind will get revenge if he disappears. And all the while the ladies cut him up into pieces and put those pieces into garbage bags.

Then the door rings.

.ch 40

This whole thing is based around the plan that the football game will keep everyone else busy so they can do their dark work.   But there's less than an hour or so for them to do it.  They might not have enough time to handle things with the best of circumstances and now they gotta deal with whoever is at the door.

But it's Grace cause of course it is.  She's here to help.

Kitty and marry Ellen deal with the vampires body parts and mrs green and grace clean up the place.

Grace takes Patricia to her house and covers for her with Carter.

Ch 41

Patricia asks for a divorce

They go get their daughter

They had a dog named raging

And then he died

Got real emotional at that part

.

Ch 42

Epilogues be Epiloguing.

They don't necessarily live happily ever after. But they slayed the vampire and that's good enough for Patricia. 

Let God be thanked that all has not been in vane.